The words on the shelf
by Silvertounge
Summary: He silenced her with a kiss that was sloppy and messy, with tears and laughter. A kiss declaring their future, wherever it led. Season 6 from a slightly behind the scenes POV, now AU.
1. The anthropologist on the floor

Hello, this is my first attempt at a legitimate multi-chapter fic and I'm pretty excited (I'm also looking for feedback of any kind, I want to really develop this story). This follows Bones and Booth up through S6 (and the dreaded Hannah) but I am adding a spin on the episodes, and background scenes that suggest alternative intentions for many of the scenes on screen.

I own nothing, if I did we wouldn't be watching the mess onscreen now.

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Dr. Temperance Brennan sat on the floor outside her partners office staring at the bottle of whiskey in her hand. She wasn't sure what had brought her up here after what she had witnessed in the bar, but the building was long past empty and she couldn't find the energy within herself to move. Her eyes were red rimmed, the carefully applied makeup long smudged off revealing the bags underneath, but that was the only gap in the otherwise numb façade she was wearing.

She had lost track of how long she had been sitting here on the floor when Angela came up to find her. Taking one look at the shell of her best friend on the floor Angela felt the guilt rush over her. Clearly Bren hadn't been sleeping right for weeks, but like everyone else around Angela had been too wrapped up in the thrill of being back to notice.

"Okay Sweetie, not that I'm against drinking your troubles away once in a while, but do you want to tell me why were at the Hoover? And the bottles not even open?"

Her attempt at diffusing the situation fell flat as Brennan looked up at her, her ice blue gaze both empty and desperately sad.

"He's so happy Ange." She said in a voice that betrayed the crying she had been doing for hours each night. "It's exactly what I wanted for him, I wanted him to find someone to share his love, to make him happy. _I wanted this_! I just don't understand why it makes me so sad." The lost, desperate tone in her best friends voice shattered Angela's heart even as the words confused her.

"I'm not sure what you mean Sweetie? I know you have a problem with Hannah but what do you mean that you wanted this for Booth?"

Brennan lurched to her feet leaving the bottle still sealed on the floor outside Booth's office. She stumbled her way into the elevator and with a sigh Angela raced after her, not willing to lose her strangely emotional friend in the deserted building. They rode to the first floor in tense silence, Angela could feel the tension rolling off of Brennan's stiff frame stretching the short ride to an excruciating length. Storming out of the building Brennan paused on the steps with a cry.

"Right here Ange is where I threw away my chance at happiness. Booth wanted to take a gamble, he wanted to give us a chance. He said he was the kind of guy who knew right from the start that we'd have 30 or 40 or 50 years together. He made me all the promises Ange…but he forgot to say the words."

The anger and sadness that had driven her out into the night, back onto the steps where she had given up her happiness, left Brennan as quickly as it had come and she sank to the stairs letting her grief wash over her. She pulled her legs into her chest physically trying to hold herself together and keep the pain inside.

"I love him Ange" Brennan said as her best friend sat down on the stairs beside her, staring out into the starless night. "I have loved him for so long, but he drew the line, he pulled away, he always talked about someones and moments and making love…but he never wanted that with me." Her voice was soft and strangely empty to Angela's ears after the raw pain she had witnessed earlier.

"Oh Bren, Booth has loved you for so long-"

" No Ange, not the way love is supposed to be, not the love he has with Hannah. I'm just his partner, his atta-girl" she spit out bitterly as if the words themselves pained her. "That's all I've ever been and suddenly he tells me he wants to take a chance on us and…and I can't let him do that. I love him so much, I wanted everything he promised…but I can't lose him. If he can promise all those years without telling me he loves me how can I know that he'll stay? I can't bear the thought of losing him, I thought that if I could still work with him and see him happy that it would be enough. But it's not..."

Angela Montenegro had never seen Temperance Brennan looking quite as lost as she did in this moment. Then again she had never heard her talking of love and lifetimes and longing, though she had dreamed of this moment for years of watching the partners. However the dream usually involved and uninvolved Booth and a much happier resolution, not the quietly sobbing pain that was currently next to her on the steps of the Hoover.

"Sweetie you've been saying your fine all week, brushing us off when any of us have tried to talk with you. What happened tonight to set this off?"

"I knew there would be changes in our partnership, you know no more late night dinner going over suspects or early morning coffee on the way to a crime scene. But we always have a drink after the case, just us. A chance to talk and decompress from the case you know? And I thought at least that we could keep. I guess I was just being silly and sentimental. I bought a bottle of his favorite whiskey and I was on my way over to his office when I get a text saying I could meet him at the Founding Fathers for a quick celebratory drink if I wanted. Not even a phone call Ange, I've been reduced to a text message."

She paused to catch her breath and still the shakiness in her voice, angrily brushing the tears off her face, seeming to gather herself before finishing her story.

"We hadn't even finished our drinks before she showed up to whisk him away. She offered me a chance to come with them but it was clear they wanted me to say no. Hannah asked me to come out with her some night for girl talk to dish about Seeley, like I even have the right to use his given name. I just wanted to have a drink with him, to finish the case like we always do. But he walked out of the bar laughing and smiling and didn't even look back as he left me behind."

Taking a deep breath Brennan turned towards Angela, a pained smile stretching towards the corners of her mouth that did nothing to brighten the somber mood between the friends. "Can you take me home Ange?" she whispered.

"Bren I really think we should talk about this…"

"We can…we will, I can meet you for lunch tomorrow, how's that sound?"

"It sounds like a brush off sweetie…"

"No, if there is anything I have learned from all of this it is that hiding my feeling is not going to do me any good. We will talk Ange and we can do so honestly. I just… tonight I just need some space still. You understand?"

"More than you know sweetie, and we will figure this out you know."

"I know." Those simple words seemed to shake her more than Angela could comprehend and she stayed uncharacteristically quiet as she led Brennan to her car, both women lost in thoughts of what had passed as they drove across town in silence.

"Thank you Angela, for being there, for understanding…" Brennan trailed off as she looked up into her darkened apartment building. She seemed lost as she fumbled for her keys and took a step away from the car, closing her door slowly.

"Bren" Angela called out softly. Lost in her own world the anthropologist looked startled to hear her friend's voice calling to her. "I'll pick you up tomorrow okay sweetie? We can try out that cute little Italian place down the street.

Brennan absently nodded, closing the door with a soft smile towards her friend. Angela watched her draw a deep breath and square her shoulders as if bracing for a fight inside her apartment. A sad smile grew across her face as she wondered, not for the first time her what her friend had gotten into, but if there was anything that could be done.

* * *

_Booth, Toasting to our success on another case closed. May we be just as successful in the future. Your Partner, Bones_

_

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_Next few chapters will be up tonight catching up through episode 3. Let e know what you think! ~Sarah


	2. The box with her heart

Still own nothing, Bones is property of Fox, HH and everyone else over there

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Angela's knock came far too early for Brennan even though it was well past noon. But she quickly placed the box back on its shelf, checking her makeup as she moved to answer the door. The dark circles still showed beneath her eyes of course, that was the downside of not sleeping for days after all, and she knew Angela would notice as well. Thankfully her friend didn't say anything just let her concern flash though her eyes and for that Brennan was grateful.

Brennan made some general comment on the scarf she was wearing and Angela took the cue for a distraction and began chattering on about the cute French market she had gotten it at. That led to a lighthearted discussion on the food and art that Angela and Hodgins had taken in that lasted them down the street and into a cozy corner booth at the small Italian café.

"Okay Sweetie" Angela started in as the waiter placed down their salads, "You promised me we would talk and I'm going to hold you to that. Now there's a lot that's happened between you and Booth that I clearly missed out on. But can you answer me honestly here Brennan, why did you push Booth away? Why did you run from him?"

Brennan took a small sip of the wine Angela had insisted she needed, letting its smooth, tart flavor coat her throat and calm her nerves before she began.

"He pushed me first Ange, which is fine, maybe he needed it. I'm sure I deserved it. But we've been dancing around the issue for so long, I've been burying my feelings for so many years that it was almost instinct to deny them. I was so happy to hear him finally applying all those promises to me, to us but he forgot the most important one. I know he would never leave behind someone he loves, but if he can't say the words I don't get that guarantee. He looked so sad Ange that it broke my heart, but what was I supposed to do."

"So he offered you the world, the future, everything-"

"But he couldn't give me what I needed Ange. And then not even 10 seconds later he tells me he has to move on, to find someone to love him….like he thought I was incapable."

"He told you in so many ways Brennan. He has stayed by your side throughout years of boyfriends, quietly supporting you through everything Bren. He's _always_ been there, and that's not just a partner thing."

"I know" the words left her lips with a strange sense of finality. "We've been more than partners for so long Ange, but he won't admit it!"

"Now were getting somewhere" said the artist with the slightest hint of a smirk on her face as she tucked into her lunch. Brennan sipped her wine and picked at the beautiful pizza in front of her while she tried to determine exactly what kind of conclusion Angela had reached. "So, you won't tell Booth you love him because you're afraid you'll lose him if he doesn't feel the same."

"Yes," came the soft reply from across the table.

"And Booth won't tell you he loves you because he thinks you'll run if he puts that all out for you. No don't interrupt," she said placing her hand on Brennan's from across the table, "that's a fact sweetie and I've got a whole slew of people with lots of Doctorates that can back me up on it."

She paused to refill her friends wine glass noticing Brennan had gone impossibly paler at her words.

"So that leaves the two of you locked in an emotional stalemate, too scared to ask for what you want, and too cautious to give the other what they need. It's not a pretty place to be Sweetie, and while I would normally recommend copious amounts of sex I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that it's your turn to do the waiting. I know you've had feelings for him the whole time but now it's your turn to act like it. Stop ignoring those feelings for him and embrace them, even if you can't act on them right now. You too have been doing this dance long enough that I know you'll get another moment but it has to be you that takes the risk this time… Ben, Sweetie are you okay?"

Panic set in that she had said too much as she noticed her friend start shaking slightly as if holding back a sob. "Oh Sweetie come here," she said getting up to give her friend a hug, "Oh." She said finally noticing what had set Brennan off.

Cuddled together at a table for two up by the window was a very attractive couple. She couldn't see the man's face but she recognized the woman her husband had been drooling over and she would recognize that throaty laugh echoing through the nearly empty restaurant anywhere.

"Bren, why didn't you say something?" she hissed frozen between wanting to comfort her still shaking friend and not wanting to draw more attention to their corner.

"Everything you said was true Ange, which means I need to get used to seeing them together, to seeing him this happy. I just don't know if I'm strong enough yet" and with that the sob she had been trying to hold back burst forth with a painful rawness of emotion that Angela rarely saw from the composed, collected Temperance Brennan. And that was when she knew she was absolutely right about her favorite non-couple, and for the first time that knowledge broke her heart as well.

As Hannah rose from her seat to go to the bathroom Angela sprang into action, not one to let her friend experience any more pain then necessary from her broken heart. As she led Brennan towards the kitchen she began spinning some tale to the waiter, flirting shamefully well aware that her husband would not approve. Thankfully it worked though and the young kid led them out through the back of the restaurant, though not before a puzzled pair of brown eyes noted the pair.

Not even bothering to calm Brennan's now open cries Angela hurried her friend down the street to the safety of her apartment. Her hands shook as she fit her key into the lock, but she stiffened her shoulders and shook off Angela's gentle attempt to help, though she didn't question as her friend followed her into the apartment. Angela felt her own heart ache as she watched Brennan's gaze linger too long on the photo of their team flanked by Brainy smurf and a small plastic pig.

As Brennan moved purposely towards her closet Anglea didn't question her, she just watched as her friend brought down an obviously heavy cardboard box and set it on her coffee table. "When it comes to Booth Ange, this is my heart" she said with a shaky smile, "this is every piece of me that belongs to him in some way or another." She pushed the box towards Angela with shaky hands, "I'd like you to keep it for now…"

"Oh Sweetie no!" Angela cried out, reaching around the box to hug Brennan. Pulling away her friend looked confused and slightly hurt, causing Angela to try and quickly explain her feelings. "These things sweetie, they belong to you and Booth, it would be wrong for me to take them for that reason alone. But you told me they were your heart, which means by giving them to me you're trying to put your heart away, to close your feelings back off which I can't let you do."

"Come with me Ange," Brennan said walking off towards her room. "These," she said pointing to a shelf that appeared to be filled with random scraps of paper, "these are my feelings for Booth. That box, it's filled with things that I wanted to use to express the feelings I thought would never be enough. The feelings I can handle because I have to deal with them everyday, but those things. They are all the chances that I had to let Booth into my heart, they're all my failures Ange and I can't do this if I have to hold onto them."

The artist wrapped her arms around her friend and led her back out to her couch, settling Brennan down she went to her fridge to get an open bottle of wine. She poured her friend a glass and pulled the box towards her "then let me help you to let go Sweetie. Not to the feelings because we both know it's too late for that, but let me help you through these things and you can tell me why they're in this box okay?"

Brennan nodded mutely and pulled open the well worn cardboard box. Slowly she laid the contents out across her living room as if they were precious artifacts, which Angela supposed in a way they were. What confused her though was the assortment of objects laid before them. A large black Bakelite phone, a copy of the program from Booth's funeral, a green women's jacket and white dress shirt covered with long dried blood that jogged Angela's memory of that fateful night. There was a Foreigner CD, a keychain shaped like a skull, a stack of what appeared to be hockey tickets, a much abused copy of one of Brennan's books. In fact the more things Brennan pulled from the box the more Angela realized she had never really know the depth of the connection between the partners.

Brennan found it strangely therapeutic to lay her metaphorical heart for Booth bare in her living room. Angela said nothing just watched quietly, occasionally placing a gentle arm on her shoulder as Brennan unpacked all the memories. As she began to describe the meaning behind some of the items she felt a strange sense of calm wash over her, the love and care that she associated with them a gentle balm for her aching heart. Some things like the dress shirt she left unexplained, neither of them wanting to break the fragile peace by delving into that dark place of her heart.

She found herself laughing for the first time in months as she described the phone, how long it had taken her to find one 'heavy enough to knock someone out with' as per her partners amusing specifications. They played "Hot Blooded" off the CD, dancing around the room with carefree abandon that may or may not have been related to the bottle of wine Brennan had finished on her own. It was an illogical thought but as painful as going through her failed moments with her partner had been Brennan couldn't stop herself from relishing the feelings of openly showing the love she had held inside her for so long.

She may have stumbled on her way to the door, letting Angela out but she couldn't quite convey the depth of her gratitude for her friend so she let her lingering hug speak for itself.

"It's going to be okay Sweetie, I promise" Angela said with a smile and Brennan couldn't help but smile, the freedom of being in love even a painful unrequited love something that she hadn't felt in years. She closed the door behind Angela, setting "Hot Blooded" to play again as she wondered why she had boxed all these emotionally laden items up in the first place.

When there was a knock on her door not 5 minutes later she didn't even pause before opening it. "What did you decide you missed my miserable company already-" her voice cut out as she looked at a pair of well muscled shoulders that most definitely did not belong to her best friend. Extending the bottle of whiskey she had all but forgotten about Seeley Booth looked down at her with a sad smile.

"Hello partner."

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Yes, the box is still spread all over let's see how Booth reacts to that. Reviews, comments, critiques are all welcomed and loved. ~Sarah


	3. The fallout of the fighting words

Still don't own anything, but my birthday is coming up...

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Brennan's happiness at seeing her partner at her doorway lasted all of a second as she remembered the contents currently spread all over her living room. In fact that one memory was enough to send away all the happiness and peace she had managed to find with Angela that afternoon.

"Booth, what are you doing here?" she pushed herself into his space, crowding him in her doorway so he couldn't get a look into her apartment. The last thing she needed right now was for him to try and make himself comfortable in her place which seemed to be exactly what he was trying to do.

"Well would you believe it, I went by the Hoover this afternoon to finish up some paperwork for Monday and there sitting in front of my office was this beautiful bottle of whiskey with a note from my partner." His tone was teasing but there was a question in his eyes she wasn't sure she wanted to answer.

"So you felt it prudent to come over here and question me about it?" Her tone was defensive bordering on anxious as he tried to push past her to enter.

"Well yeah Bones, that's usually what we do you know. Talk to each other about whats going on, check in to say thanks after getting presents. Will you let a guy come in or what?" He asked as she leaned heavily on the door with a look of panic at the items spread out behind her.

"I don't think that's a good idea Booth. I hope you enjoy the whiskey I remember it used to be your favorite. Perhaps you could take it home to share with Hannah, she seems to be a more than adequate social partner-"

"Temperance what is going on, why won't you let me inside?" he was getting frustrated with standing in her doorway, but he didn't expect the verbal onslaught that came next.

"Don't call me Temperance, Seeley." She said with a bite in her voice and a glare on her face. "I may let Hannah get away with it because she's important to you and I don't want to come across as rude by correcting her but don't you think that because it's okay for her that suddenly makes it okay for you too."

"Hey, hey okay calm down. I didn't know it was such a problem Bones you could have told me, I would have talked with her." His tone had softened with her harsh words though he was still anxious to get out of her hallway. "What do you say I come in, we have a drink and you can tell me whats going on, something clearly has you all shaken."

"My personal life is not your concern anymore Booth, and you can't come in right now. Angela was here just a bit ago and she left a terrible mess."

"Ah come on Bones it can't be that bad" his words stopped short as he stepped into her apartment and took a cursory look around. There were things spread out everywhere and none of them seemed to have anyplace in Temperance Brennan's apartment. He turned towards her with a gasp as he saw his bloody shirt on her table next to the memorial card from his funeral.

"What is this?" he asked, his voice choked his eyes flashing from pain, to panic, hope and sadness at a dizzying rate. "Bones what is all this?"

Brennan for her part stayed frozen in her doorframe as he moved about her living room, looking at the contents of her metaphorical heart laid bare before him. His hands ghosted over the phone, the book and the keychain holding what he knew to be a key to her apartment. There was a pair of his socks he hadn't seen in years and something that looked suspiciously like his long lost FBI t-shirt.

He turned to her, his own tears threatening to fall as he saw her silencing her sobs on her fist. "I told you this wasn't a good time" she managed to choke out. "Please Booth, for both of us please leave."

Never one to spare his own heart over his partners he gathered her into his arms and stroked her hair, whispering soothing words and trying to get his own emotions in check from all that he was seeing. As her sobs softened into hiccups he asked again, "Bones, what is all this, please?"

"It doesn't matter, please just let it go." She was begging him now, and Temperance Brennan didn't beg, but Booth had no sense of self preservation and as he opened his mouth to ask again she cut him off with the least expected phrase of his life.

"It's my heart Booth. It's everything that I've held onto over the years trying to put my feelings into objects because they never felt like enough on their own. But it's been boxed up for a while now; Angela and I took it down tonight for a little bit or reminiscing but really Booth there should be nothing here to surprise you."

He stared at her in awe of how this woman could try to tell anyone that she lacked an open heart. How anyone could think of her as cold or unfeeling was a cut to his chest because he remembered his own girlfriend making a very similar comment last night that he had failed to correct.

"You and Hannah seem very happy Booth and it was never my intention to get in the way of that, that is why I tried to stop you from entering my apartment tonight. I didn't want to put unnecessary strain on your relationship with her."

"I saw you today" he blurted out without even thinking, "at the restaurant with Angela, you were crying something terrible and you left out the back, why?"

"Because you were sitting up front" she whispered sadly, "and there was no reason for you to have to see that, I apologize."

"Stop being so rational for one damned second Bones and tell me what's really going on here, please. I'm your partner you owe me that much."

"Yes you're my _partner_" she sneered, "and I'm your **atta-girl** that you want for the next 50 years, it doesn't work like that Booth. You claim you know me so well but you left out some very important things that night. And while I may be coming to terms with your reasoning for them did you ever stop to think that what you didn't say might have been the reason for what I did?"

Her admission seemed to shock even her and for a moment time froze around them as the glared into each others eyes, faces only inches apart as every spectrum of emotion danced back and forth between them.

Brennan remembered her place first, and stepped back with a deep breath, squaring her shoulders and dropping her gaze. "I'd like you to leave my apartment now please."

"I'm sure you would Bones, so what you can put all these emotions aside and pretend like this never happened. Well let me tell you it's not that easy-"

"Don't you dare try to tell me what's easy. I have to live with my choices everyday but you don't need to torture me with them by coming in where you have no reason to any more. You have no idea what's right in front of you sometimes Booth, you really don't. Go home, make love to your girlfriend and please try to forget this, I wasn't trying to share this pain with you and for that I apologize."

He took one more glance around her living room, cataloguing everything he saw before turning his gaze on her and taking the same kind of inventory. The longing in his gaze was almost too much for Brennan as she pushed him out of her apartment.

"Go home Booth, please" she said with a fight in her voice that had nothing to do with the heated words they had just exchanged. "And please, don't torture yourself with this, I'm the one who has to live with the consequences of my actions and I never meant for them to cause you pain."

The conversation played on in an endless loop as he stood staring at her now closed door. Her tearful gaze was all he saw as he drove back to his apartment. His heart wasn't in it as he and his girlfriend had crappy sex in his bed well into the morning. And as his phone rang at 3 am and he watched said girlfriend walk out his apartment Seeley Booth, who had sworn off gambling months ago went all in for the worst reason he had ever had in his life.

Life altering decesions are not something that should be made with a broken heart, and as he sent a quick text off to his already departed girlfriend Booth couldn't help but feel a twinge of regret. But he was moving on, and hell if anyone or anything was going to stop him.

* * *

_Hannah, you should move in. talk more tonight? Booth_

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Yeah, maybe not the best time to be making that sort of decision. Reviews are like UST between Booth and Brennan, you can't get enough. There's one more chapter to get up to date through Thursdays episode, should be up sometime tomorrow afternoon.


	4. The tension in their thoughts

Can I just say I am honestly awed with all the positive response I have gotten with this story so far. Between the reviews and the alerts, you guys are the best. I know Booth was quite a jerk in the last chapter and I hope I make his response a little easier to understand here. I know I said this chapter would wrap up through episode 3 but theres a lot going on so I'm going to need one more (lucky for you all right?).

Once again I own nothing, it all belongs to Fox, HH ect.

* * *

There was no way Brennan was going back to sleep after all that had passed that evening. She had contemplated calling Angela back over after she got Booth out of her apartment but decided that this was as good a time as any to start sorting this mess herself. _You love him. He's happy, this is exactly what you wanted. _The thoughts floated through her mind like a mantra instilling a false sense of calm as she began to place Booth's things back in their box.

She searched for the peaceful regret she had found earlier with Angela. The aching comfort she had had knowing that she no longer had to deny her love even if there was nothing she do to act on it. But all she could find was the aching look her partner had given her as she forcefully removed him from her apartment. The 'why' that had almost left his lips as she closed the door on him. _"You love him. He's happy, this is exactly what you wanted." _That was her why.

She was still sitting on her floor lost in the battle between brain and heart when her phone rang several hours later. She agreed to make coffee and have it ready when he came to pick her up in a few minutes. They had a case. Life goes on whether you want it to or not she thought to herself as she put the coffee on and went to change out of the clothes she'd been sitting in for hours. Pulling a fresh blouse over head she paused to look at the words on her shelf. So many feelings, so many wasted moments, some might think it was cruel of her to keep such bitter reminders in plain view of her daily life but she knew better. Those words were what reminded her she was capable of change, what kept her going even now when she wanted to bury herself in Limbo and never come out. Those words were unspoken promises she had made to her partner to live the life he had only dreamed possible for her. They marked the love that she was always holding for him even though it would never be reciprocated.

As she filled their travel mugs, making his coffee with even less conscious though than her own, she steeled her will for the onslaught that she was sure she would face in the car. Climbing into his waiting SUV she handed him his coffee with a sad smile, he returned the gesture in kind neither smile reaching the bearers eyes.

Both were silent as he started the drive. Brennan wanting to minimize her partners pain by following his lead and Booth wanting to drive his partner away from everything around them and force her to tell him if what he had seen meant what he thought it did. He was regretting more than ever his lack of impulse control in sending that text to Hannah this morning as the source of that very action sat next to him studying her coffee mug.

He knew asking Hannah to move in with him out of spite for what he'd seen in Brennan's apartment was possibly the worst decision he'd made since asking Rebecca to marry him. Shit he hadn't even considered how his rash decision would affect Parker. He knew his son was pretty easy going but he also knew Parker's fondness for a certain pool owning anthropologist. He hadn't even met Hannah yet and here Booth was moving her into his place. He knew that none of this was technically Brennan's problem since she had tried her hardest to keep him out, but damn if he didn't want to shake her for complicating everything further. _"I love her. I'm happy, I'm moving on exactly like I wanted." _Parker would have to understand.

They sat in a tense silence all the way to the crime scene. Neither partner aware of how even in silence their thoughts and actions mirrored each others.

* * *

_Seeley, yes! But only if your sure… ;) Hannah_

* * *

He was happy. He was moving in with her. That was as serious as a heart attack, even Brennan could see that. She didn't understand why the relationship was moving so fast but it's not like this was her area of expertise. She knew that he was happy and that was what she was supposed to do, support him in his newfound happiness.

That's why she told Hannah about the phone. The very phone she had had sitting in her closet for almost a year now. It had started as some silly offhand comment he had made years ago but she remembered the look of boyish joy on his face as he had described it. She had talked with Hank about his old phone over a game of dominos and the older Booth was surprised that Booth had even remembered the thing, though it had been a solid fixture in their home growing up. Brennan had catalogued the details as carefully as any of her forensic findings in her mind. It had been an old, black Bakelite, with a rotary dial that click, click, clicked. Heavy enough to knock someone out was what Booth had said.

As she recounted these details for Hannah she remembered how hard won they had been for her. The years of silence that had led her to even this small glimpse into her partners childhood and she wondered for a moment if she was doing the right thing, sharing something that was so obviously theirs. But then she remembered who she was talking to. This was the woman that Booth wanted to share his home, his happiness, his life with. Surely there was nothing about him that was off limits to her. As much as it pained Brenna to share, she recognized that she had given up her rights to be the only one privy to Booth's personal secrets eight months ago when she had given up her happiness forever.

As she warned Hannah about how fully Booth would give himself to her a more adept person might have noticed the jealousy in Hannah's eyes or the defensive tone she took in reassuring Brennan how certain she was. But Brennan couldn't read the journalist that well and she was really too caught up in her own desire to return balance to Booth's happiness to care.

She offered Hannah the phone from her apartment. Not mentioning of course that she had bought it for Booth just that it was a collectors piece from her past that she really had no use for. She also offered the help of her female coworkers to move Hannah in. The journalist insisted that it wasn't necessary but Brennan persisted saying it would give them a chance to all talk and she could simply drop the phone off for Hannah then too. She accepted the offer then, stressing again how lucky Seeley was to have her as a friend. If there was a bitter tone in Hannah's voice or a sense of loss in Brennan's answering smile, neither woman chose to acknowledge it. neither of them really knowing the other well enough to read what was there.

* * *

_Seeley, your coworkers offered unnecessarily to help me move in tonight. Can't wait! Hannah_

_

* * *

_

Dr. Lance Sweets knew he would have his work cut out for him getting Booth and Brennan to trust him again after the fallout of their last session. What he didn't expect was that half of the battle would be back at square one trying to get the two of them into his office.

Sitting across from them at the diner he knew once again something big had shifted between the pair. Gone were the hidden smirks between them, the us against the psychologist mentality that they usually shared. In fact they looked plain uncomfortable even occupying the same booth, though both of them seemed unaware of it. Brennan had her head resting on her arms, a physical barrier between herself and the agent next to her. And Booth had his arms crossed and his posture stiffly reclined against the seat, as if he could force himself to look relaxed with the whole situation. He barely even smiled as he dumped the piles of text messages on Sweets to sort out, something that would have brought the agent undue amounts of pleasure in a different time.

Trying to talk with Booth later ran him even farther into confusion. Booth was highly on edge, even for his usual self and went on the defensive far too fast for a man as secure in his love as he claimed. Sweets tried to buy himself some time to talk with psychobabble about the change in dynamic their relationship was likely to experience stateside but Booth was having none of it. _"I love her. I'm happy, I'm moving on exactly like I wanted." _Screw Sweets and his psychobabble trying to rationalize him down.

"Oh boy." The psychologist sighed as the elevator doors closed in his face. He had seen the pain and determination in the agents face as he described his current situation. Booth looked more like a man losing an argument with himself than one happily anticipating his girlfriends move in. With Booth's desire for domesticity in his highly unconventional relationship and the growing tension between the partners he considered friends Sweets headed back to his office determined to prepare for the fallout from the inevitable.

* * *

_Hannah, we've got the case under wraps, should be a night of celebration all around. Seeley_

_

* * *

_

That night after work she went home and took the obnoxiously heavy phone off back the shelf in her closet. Logically she knew there was no reason to hold onto the things in the box anymore. She had not allowed Booth the place he wanted in her life and she should not be grieving the loss of these moments like a lover scorned. He had Hannah to give him things now, things that she, his partner had only managed to hold onto never trusting herself to actually gift them for fear of what might change. She pushed the box back into her closet with disgust, slamming the door shut in attempt to relive some of her pain.

It didn't work, as she had rationally expected but now her hands were smarting so she was exceedingly gentle with her next task. She placed the card gently on the shelf beside her dresser, amongst the various other notes she had failed to deliver over the years. Smiling sadly at the picture of the two of them that sat amongst it all she turned away. _"You love him. He's happy, this is exactly what you wanted."_ Gathering up her partners phone Brennan walked out into the night, determined to start showing the love she had hidden for so long.

* * *

_I've got a surprise for you when you get home tonight. Hannah_

* * *

I'm aiming for tonight but if not I'll have the last chapter of catch up done by Sunday for sure.

Reviews make me smile and I promise to respond ~Sarah


	5. The elephant on his end table

As promised the last chapter catching up to episode 3. Can I just say I am so thrilled with the positive response this story has gotten you all are, in the words of Dr. Sweets, awesome!

I own nothing but the ideas, anything you recognize is property of Fox, HH and everyone else involved.

* * *

An irrational moment of happiness found Brennan as she pulled up to Booth's apartment and found her usual parking spot was open. It faded just as quickly as she noticed Hannah unloading several duffle bags onto the sidewalk chatting comfortably with Cam. With a soft sigh she stepped out from her car lifting the precious cargo off her passenger seat with a small pang of guilt. She hadn't taken two steps towards the other women when a pair of hands frantically grabbed at her free arm.

"Bren what the hell do you think you're doing?" Angela hissed looking at the phone her friend was cradling. "Now really doesn't seem like the time to be giving Booth presents you've been hoarding for years."

"This is a housewarming gift for Booth from _Hannah_ Ange. She came to me earlier asking for help in selecting an appropriate gift to present him with and this seems to fit the occasion. Besides now that Booth has seen it, it seems silly of me to hold on to the thing."

"Wait hold up, Hannah asked you for advice on a present for Booth? And when did Booth see the phone at your apartment?" Angela's mind was racing at the nerve of this woman to rub her relationship with Booth in Brennan's face by asking her advice on a present. But even more concerning was the fact that Booth had been to Brennan's apartment at any point within the past few days.

"He may have stopped by shortly after you left" Brennan mumbled softly, not meeting Angela's eyes. "But that's not the point; he forced himself in even though I told him to stay out. Some very nasty things were said between us and we haven't really have talked about it since Ange. I was hoping that by giving Hannah something I know he will love and appreciate that he might understand that I really am trying to be happy for him."

The last line was repeated with all the emotion of a forensics report and Angela knew her friend was attempting to compartmentalize the situation. Not looking to add any further grief to the pot she neglected to mention to Brennan that Booth was likely to look at the phone with almost the exact opposite conclusion.

"So what did you tell Hannah about it then?"

"Well after explaining the significance it would have to Booth I told her I had gotten something similar as a gift a while ago that I really had no use for in my apartment, and I offered it to her as a sort of peace offering from frying her on her intentions with Booth."

"Grilling, Sweetie, that's the word you want there," said Angela with a small chuckle. She didn't miss the fact that Brennan had told Hannah the phone was a gift without mentioning that she had not actually been its recipient. Her friend might actually be better suited at staking her claim than she had given her credit for.

By this point they had caught up with Hannah and Cam and began teasing the journalist for having so few possessions. They each grabbed a bag and headed inside. Cam gave Angela a sad smile as Brennan automatically reached for her key ring when they reached Booth's door, though thankfully Hannah was too preoccupied unlocking it herself to catch the action.

The tension between the women seemed to melt away as Brennan passed the phone over to Hannah, who immediately plugged it in and stuck a red foil Christmas bow on top. Wine was poured for everyone but Angela and they all sat about talking on about Booth until the man of the hour arrived. If he seemed uncomfortable having all these women in his apartment he didn't show it.

Booth, to his credit, hid his shock at finding his partner looking at home in his apartment with his girlfriend. They sipped their wine and talked with a freedom he had never seen in Bones among strangers. If that was a sign to his doubting heart that this whole thing might actually work out okay the old black phone he noticed sitting on his table was a reminder of why he had quit gambling in the first place.

Angela was happy to notice his eyes flash over to Brennan as he took in the phone on his table. The glance was quick enough to be missed by everyone else in the room but Angela had been studying the two of them long enough to know that in Booth's mind the phone was not quite the peace offering Brennan had intended it to be. Looking to save him from himself in the moment she made an offhand comment on her own wandering days before thinking the implications through.

Booth jumped on Angela's comment and the secret smiles of the women in the room looking for any excuse to get his heart and mind in order. He felt that after years of caring for Bones Angela was ready for anything a child could throw at her and he really was happy to see the normally flighty artist settling so fully into her new role of domesticity. His motherhood comment had the opposite effect though as it cleared both Cam and Angela from the room leaving Booth, Brennan and Hannah alone with the big black elephant on his end table.

He drew his attention to the phone as if noticing it for the first time and was pleased to see Hannah jump up at it. Clearly this was meant to be a gift from her, though his heart broke a little as he heard her mention the woman on his couch had suggested she get it for him. He feigned excitement that he knew would be genuine if he had actually received the gift from Bones who truly understood its sentiment. He cursed himself a second later for thinking of Bones that way when he had a beautiful woman who loved him trying so hard to make him happy. He heard Brennan's "you're welcome" clearer than he did Hannah's though he hoped his kiss was enough to distract his girlfriend.

He couldn't stop the "no" that left his lips though as Brennan gathered her things to leave_. No, don't do this, don't leave me, don't let me move on because I don't know what I'm doing._ He liked to think she could see those thoughts in his eyes as he held her gaze, and her retreat into her normal defense of anthropological jibber-jabber gave him hope that at the very least she understood him still.

He followed her to the door, awkwardly holding the cheap red bow Hannah had placed on the phone in front of his heart as if that could shield it from aching at the sight of her walking away from him. "I'll see you tomorrow." He said as his heart screamed at her not to run from him, to give him time to figure this all out.

"Yes, tomorrow." She said, a small smile forming on her face even as her heart called to him to let her make this easier for him. She held his gaze a moment too long the longing in her heart echoed in his eyes even as he fumbled with the bow. It was that piece of shiny red foil, as out of place as she was in this moment, that gave her the momentum to move forward, out his door though she closed it slowly half expecting him to follow after her.

It took everything in his head to stop Booth from following his partner out into the hallway, out of this mess he had created and into the simple truth that she loved him. A truth that filled his heart with hope even as he cursed himself ten ways sideways for not recognizing it before. He had been seeing love in her eyes for years, he realized. But it wasn't until he had felt it from her metaphorical heart that he _the expert_ on matters of the heart had been able to recognize it. He sneered at himself for being so blind.

And in that moment, his hand stretched unconsciously towards the door his partner had just exited, his eyes gazing at the picture of Bones and Parker and himself laughing in Angela's office that had been hanging on his wall for years that he realized the words he had never said that night. He nearly crumpled over as the pain of the realization went through his heart and only his determination to do right by the woman in his living room pulled him up out of his despair over what, he now realized, was possibly the biggest mistake of his life.

Brennan was strangely calm as Angela enveloped her in a hug in Booth's parking lot. Her friend would have been concerned had she not noticed the peaceful smile that seemed to light Brennan's face.

"He said he'd see me tomorrow Ange."

* * *

Thats it for now, see you with more Thursday night or Friday morning after Episode 4 airs. ~Sarah


	6. The wisdom on the couch

I own nothing you recognize and everything you don't. A/N at the bottom :)

* * *

"Bone's chop, chop lets go we have a case." Booth called into his phone with a teasing tone he hadn't used in what felt like ages. He may not have slept well the night before but he was damned if he was going to let that stop him from making this morning's car ride less awkward for the two of them.

"As much as I appreciate the call Booth, I was just about to get in my car, would you like me to stop by and pick you up?"

Booth looked down at his sock clad feet and smiled, "Sure Bones, I'll just finish getting ready. Want me to make the coffee?"

"We haven't been apart that long Booth, I know you make terrible coffee. I'll pick some up on my way over."

Booth could almost hear her smile over the phone and it felt good to be back to that normal conversational tone with her. He found himself whistling as he tidied up his apartment and readied himself for the day. He looked at the phone on his coffee table and was reminded with a twinge that he was more excited about driving to work with the woman who had bought it than he had been about waking up next to the woman who had given it to him.

He knew he had moved things too fast with Hannah in attempt to make a point, but no one had gotten the message except Bones, and seeing her selfless attempt to let him move on had done nothing to aide his plan to get over his feelings for her. His mood had dropped significantly by the time Bones knocked on his door though he tried to hide it with a smile.

"Come on Booth, it won't be so bad to let me drive for a day" she said with a small smile, attempting to lighten his obviously darkened mood.

And it worked. A genuine smile cracked Booth's face for the first time since Hannah had come back to the states and his spirits continued to rise as he attempted to get the keys from Brennan all the way down the stairs and out to her car. He failed to notice Hannah pulling back into the parking lot as he backed Brennan against her door in a last ditch attempt to get the keys. He flinched as she went to roll him against the car and she used that second to get into the drivers side and stick her tongue out at him through the window.

They stopped for coffee on the way to the crime scene and though he was slightly disturbed by her choice of the perfect murder for an early morning discussion he relished the normalcy of their banter that carried them out of the car and into the crime scene, just like old times.

As she prepared to head back to the Jeffersonian with the skull and hands they made plans to meet for lunch. Booth headed back to his office with a smile on his face and a lightness in his heart. Things with Bones were just so normal why couldn't he keep that and be happy with Hannah too. Stopping in his tracks he turned and went to the last person he thought he would ever be asking for advice about his love life.

"Well hello Studly, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company this morning?" Angela purred with a wink as Booth flopped himself on her couch.

"Is it possible for me to be happy?" he asked with a sigh.

"Whoa, Booth what brought this on?" Angela asked, dropping the controller she had been using to start the facial reconstruction program to go sit next to Booth on the couch.

"It's just, things with Bones have been awkward since we all got back and even worse since Hannah showed up. And now all of a sudden Bones and I seem okay again, its like whatever I saw at her apartment, by letting herself open up that bit to me I've been able to see layers of her I never even dreamed of-"

"Which is great except that you just moved in with another woman." Angela finished for him with a way too self satisfied smirk on her face.

"Don't look so happy for me."

"Booth, you and Brennan have been doing this dance for years and I think along the way you both forgot some of the important steps. I don't know all of the story here and I don't want to. I know you offered her the world and your heart and I know she shot you down. I also know you drew some line in the sand years ago that she thinks is still there and keeping you from loving her. You both love each other, hell I'm sure even Parker could tell you that. But neither of you is brave enough to fully commit to those feelings and clear up all these years of doubt."

The look on his face was a cross between a joy like Angela had never seen on Booth in her life and a sadness that threatened to drag him into the abyss.

"What about Hannah?"

"Whoa I am not going there G-man." Angela said stepping off of the couch and back to her computer. Pulling the numbers from Brennan's email she began to input the parameters of their victim's facial structure. "If she makes you happy, then good for you god knows you deserve a bit of happiness in your life. But you had better think good and hard about what you really want, because that woman is playing for keeps and you're better than some schmo who will string her along because she's good in bed."

She turned away from her work to look him squarely in the eyes, "don't worry about Bren, she's not going anywhere, and I don't think she's quite finished figuring herself out yet either. But don't go hurting more people than you have to with this Booth, we both know life is too short for that sort of thing." With that she continued to adjust the skin tone and hair color to find a shade that spoke to her. "I should have this done for you within the hour Studly."

Booth wrapped her in a careful hug as he stepped out of her office, a weight lifted off his heart, though another one had settled on his mind. He knew right now there were a lot of people he cared about that he was hurting with his actions. But he wasn't sure if he was ready to admit the painful truth to Hannah and move on building back his life.

"Oh and Booth," Angela's voice called to him from the depths of her office and he poked his head back in. "next time you say the words, don't give them some silly platonic qualifier" she said with a wink. Shooing him out of her office Angela turned back to the face she was constructing a smile on her face at the good deed she had done for the day.

* * *

There's a taste for now, there will be two more chapters from this episode posted sometime tomorrow. I was happy to see no Hannah tonight, though not thrilled with the little teaser they gave about her for the next episode in November (or the fact that the next episode isn't until November!)


	7. The problem with normalcy

Anything you recognize isn't mine, though sometimes I wish it was.

* * *

When Booth came to drag her out to lunch before she had even had a real chance to look at the incoming body Brennan thought back to a time where she would have been upset. Today though the Thai he carried smelled tempting and the charm smile on his face was enough to buoy her hopes that this lunch could be another episode of normality for them.

She followed him out into the courtyard, the sun warming her face as she sat down on his indicated bench. He smiled at the sight of her, so innocently happy over a simple lunch outside. He almost hated to broach the subject that had been eating at him all night but it had to be done. He gave her first choice of the spring rolls as a peace offering and waited until she had taken her first bite to ask, "So Bones why did you do it?"

"I'm afraid you're going to have to be a little more specific about which action of mine is in question" she answered with a faux glare as she continued to munch her spring roll.

"Why did you give me the phone yesterday?"

She stopped mid-bite and turned towards her partner, "Hannah gave you the phone Booth."

"Technically yes, but I know I saw it in your apartment this weekend and I know why you had it. So I'm going to ask you again Bones, why give it to me now?"

"I intended for it to be a peace offering for all you had seen from me this past weekend. When Hannah came to my office asking for a gift for you it seemed like the most appropriate given the situation. And after giving her a brief history on its significance to cure her of her skepticism she seemed to agree that it was the right sort of thing to present you with. I offered her your phone as an apology of sorts for baking her so harshly about her intentions with you-"

"Whoa whoa slow down there Bones. Hannah came into your office? And you **grilled **her about her intentions towards me?"

"Angela suggested her visit might be more with the intention of gloating than actually asking for help and I have not closed off that realm of possibility. And of course I questioned her, I'm not sure what my choice of cooking metaphor has to do with it, but you always used to question my dates. Ange said it was a sign of affection on your part and I honestly just wanted to make sure you wouldn't end up hurt."

The intensity of her words washed over them both as she tried to make him understand. "I felt I had put you through enough this weekend Booth I wasn't trying to interfere unnecessarily." She looked so sad in that moment that even if he had been mad Booth wouldn't have been able to hold that anger. As it was he was more excited, and painfully hurt than anything else. He had never seen this kind of open talk about affection on her part and it made his heart ache all the more with what he was missing out on by being so blind.

Brennan watched the strange combination of emotions swirl across her partner's features as she waited anxiously for a reply. She hoped that she hadn't said too much, but she wanted him to see just how supportive she was willing to be of his newfound happiness.

"I just wanted to show you how happy I am that you've been able to find someone to share your life with Booth, that's all." She managed to get the words out with a straight face and then busied herself with her chopsticks as she blinked back the tears in her eyes.

Booth wasn't going to pretend he didn't see the tears, but it was her words that cut him deeper. She was selfless enough to let him freely love another person because she felt that she couldn't give him enough. This wasn't the Temperance Brennan that had pushed him away at the Hoover and at the same time here they were both painfully vulnerable.

Without thinking he set his food down and pulled her into a hug. When she started to protest he said in his best imitation of squint "its just a hug Bones, because you are an important person in my life and I am showing affection, take it."

"This is different from a guy hug." There was a question in her voice even though she didn't ask it; it was one of those things he just knew.

Remembering Angela's warning about using modifiers he smiled, "yeah Bones, it is."

As the tension between them eased they pulled apart and dug into their lunch with renewed fervor. The conversation turned to their case and they gradually grew back into the teasing tone they had recently rediscovered. The moment was broken as Brennan's phone rang and she took the updates on the case.

Hannah Burley walked into the FBI building like she owned the place, looking to surprise her boyfriend with a little lunchtime surprise. They had both been awkward last night after his friends left and she thought a little afternoon fun would clear the air. When she got to his office she stopped in her tracks. There taped on the door was a note, not addressed to her but that didn't make her anger any less.

* * *

Sweets,

Making sue Bones eats lunch, CALL ME as soon as you have my profile.

Booth

* * *

The rest of the week passed pretty much the same between the partners. Between chasing suspects and dealing with bounty hunters Booth felt like he and Bones were really back. He made frequent trips to the Hoover to relish in the comfort of that fact even if the case moved slower than normal due to the lack of a real squintern. He had gotten an excited phone call from Parker in the middle of the week telling him that in addition to his class field trip to the Jeffersonian on Friday to see the new ice man exhibit, his class had been invited to sit in on the live taping of the Science Dude's TV show. Booth had to smile at Camille's certainty in wearing Brennan down, even as he groaned internally at just how much the squints were rubbing off on his son.

In fact his week had been going so well that Booth didn't even notice Hannah seemed quieter than usual at night. She had lots of work to do, which he though would be a good thing, something she loved to keep her occupied. But she seemed to grow quieter, even colder towards him as the week wore on. He attributed it to the stress of a new job and his own paranoia about their relationship. He was still determined to do right by her, he just hadn't quite figured out what right was yet. One thing was clear though he had to have a talk with Parker soon, seeing as next weekend was his turn with his son.

Despite Booths and Cams best efforts it had been a few well placed words from Angela that decided Brennan's fate as the Science Dude's special guest and though she felt ridiculous in the costume Angela had helped design that all faded in a instant when she saw the rows of excited children, crowded into her lab ready to learn about science.

She caught Parker's eyes as he sat with his class and gave him an extra large smile which he eagerly returned. She next found Booth off to the side with the rest of her lab family, shaking his head at Parkers enthusiasm but excited for her nonetheless. He gave her a thumbs up as she began to lead the science oath, and somewhere deep inside her a little girls enthusiasm bubbled up.

Booth was thrilled to see his son so excited, though it cursed his heart a little to see that excitement double when he caught sight of Bones. She really was so good with Parker; it wasn't fair that neither of them had seen each other since the partners had gotten back. He tore his eyes away from his son though as he watched Brennan's pure childlike excitement at leading the group of young scientists. And this was a woman who claimed she wasn't good with children.

He snuck out about halfway through the taping, explaining to Angela that he wanted to get started on his paperwork so maybe he could take Parker for some ice cream and a talk before Rebecca came to get him. He took one longing glance back at the woman on stage and the smile she saved just for his son in the audience and realized that his decision was going to be a lot harder than he thought.

* * *

One more chapter to go to finish out this episode, and to speed up Booth's decision making process I'm calling in pint sized reinforcements.


	8. The breakup in their dinner plans

Anything you recognize doesn't belong to me, though I'd give just about anything for a Baby Booth of my own :)

* * *

"Parker can you put your father on the phone please?"

"I would if he was here mom but he's still at the Hoover."

"Then where on earth are you?" It had been a long day and Rebecca didn't feel too bad for snapping at her son, she had just gotten a call from his coach about a cancelled hockey practice and realized that she hadn't heard from him yet after he got home this afternoon.

"We had our school field trip to the Jeffersonian today to be on the Science Dude's TV show with Bones remember? You said I could stay at the lab with Dad or the squints till you got out of court, I figured you must still be busy. I'm in Angela's office with her and Bones."

"Can you put _Dr. Brennan_ on the phone then please?" As often as she tried to correct Parker's use of the silly nickname Seeley had coined her message never seemed to sick. And Dr. Brennan was really not the woman she wanted to be talking to after the type of day she had been having-

"Hi Rebecca this is Temperance." Brennan was not sure why Parker's mother wanted to talk to her when Booth had a perfectly working cell phone.

"Hi Temperance, any chance you know where Seeley is? We got our case torn apart in court today and we need to reorganize our closing strategy tomorrow so I wanted to see if he could take Parker for the night but he's not answering his phone-"

"He should be in his office filling out paperwork from the case we just finished closing. He may have gone to visit the prosecutor for a signature and forgotten his phone" Brennan spoke without really thinking, eager to cut off the woman's frantic rambles into the phone. "If you like we can keep Parker here with us until I can get ahold of Booth to take him for the night."

"No really Dr. Brennan I couldn't impose-"

"Rebecca it is no trouble, Parker is already here and I'm sure Booth will be done soon he was just finishing some paperwork."

"Well thank you Dr. Brennan I really appreciate it."

"Temperance, please. And it's no problem really, have a good night."

"So I get to hang out with you guys and Dad tonight?" The excitement in the young boy's voice matched the fervor he usually reserved for beetle racing with Hodgins, but there was no mistaking the look of pure joy on his face.

"Yes, if that's okay with you. Can you stay here with Angela for a few minutes while I go put away this paperwork? Then we can go get dinner while we wait for your father to be done."

"Sure thing Bones!" Came the delighted reply from Angela's office.

Brennan wasn't expecting to feel the pain in her heart at the prospect of spending time with Parker. When she had changed out of her costume and seen Booth gone Ange had been quick to explain that Booth had left to finish his paperwork so that he might have some time to spend with Parker. When Parker had been unable to get a hold of either Booth or Rebecca on his cell phone he had wandered into Angela's office where the two women had been talking and asked if he could hang out. They had spent a wonderful afternoon with Angela as Brennan mixed finishing up her own paperwork with games and cartoons on the Angelator.

The prospect of leaving work early sounded good to Brennan too. Despite how normal things had been between her and Booth this week she had been spending too much time at the lab still, choosing the expected silence of the lab over the empty seeming one in her apartment. An evening filled with the chatter of her favorite little boy sounded like heaven to her ears, or something like that.

"So Angela," Parker asked with a conspiratorial grin as soon as Brennan was out of earshot, "what do you think of me asking my dad to make Bones his girlfriend?"

Angela to her credit did not blanch at the boys words, though she was shocked to hear that Baby Booth didn't know about his father's current living situation. "Well Parker," she started playing the serious adult that she never was, "why would you want them to date, don't you still think girls have cooties?"

"Maybe the one's my age but not Bones, she's awesome! Did you see her up on stage today? We used to spend lots of time with her but this is the first time I've seen her since my dad got back. We haven't been swimming at her place or anything. And my dad always looks happier when we're with Bones, I don't know he smiles more or something…maybe because she can be really funny. He's always telling me she's family but I think it would be better if they dated cause then they could kiss and stuff, don't grownups like that?"

Trying her hardest not to laugh at Parkers slightly absurd but totally accurate list of reasons why Booth and Brennan should belong together she put on a straight face to answer his heartbreaking question. Kneeling down on Parker's level she looked him in the eyes, which reminded her so much of Booths, "I think this is something you and your dad need to talk about man to man, but for now let's not mention it to Bren okay? It will be like our little secret until you talk to your dad."

"Parker, are you ready to go get some dinner?" Brennan had a knack for timing even if she wasn't aware of it and Angela stood up with a wink to the little boy in her office that he answered with a giggle.

"Sure thing Bones, can we have mac and cheese at your place for dinner?"

"That would be acceptable, as long as you help make it." Brennan answered with a sad smile; he and Booth really were so similar sometimes. Making mac and cheese for the Booth boys was something she thought she might never get to experience again so the opportunity to do so swelled her heart with happiness.

"Amazing!" Parker cheered in his best imitation of the Science Dude. "See you later Angela," Parker called with an exaggerated wink towards the artist as he followed Brennan out of the office. It was all the artist could do to hold it together until they were out of sight. Then she collapsed, sobbing onto her couch.

"Angie babe, what's the matter?" a very panicked Dr. Hodgins asked only a few moments later as he walked into her office ready to head home for the night and found his wife still sobbing on her couch.

"Oh, Jack I'm fine it's more the hormones than anything else. It's just Parker was hanging out here; he asked me why Booth wasn't dating Brennan. He doesn't know about Hannah yet Jack and the way he talks about Bren, this is just going to break his little heart when he finds out."

Jack Hodgins pulled his wife into his arms, rubbing her back until her tears quieted into hiccups. Neither of them spoke as they readied to leave for the day, both too caught up in thoughts of the drama that was slowly unfolding in front of them.

Temperance Brennan was not good with children as a general rule, but the time she spent with the Science Dude had left her in a good mood. And she and Parker had always gotten along well. They had a wonderful time talking and laughing all the way back to her apartment. Parker recounted some of the 'cooler' details of the science show that day and Brennan fielded all of his additional questions with practiced ease and much delight.

Parker told her all about his upcoming hockey season as they started in on the macaroni, filling her in on the finer point of the game and trying his best not to laugh as she confused hockey with both football and baseball. His dad always said not to laugh at Bones when she didn't understand something but she was so funny. She had to be messing with him too; everyone knew there were not quarterbacks scoring homeruns in hockey!

Brennan kept periodically texting her partner as she and Parker assembled their dinner. He had no homework on account of his field trip that day so he graciously volunteered to help her with the dishes while the macaroni backed. By the time dinner was ready and they still hadn't heard from Booth Brennan was starting to worry slightly.

"Hey Bones should we bring some of this to the Hoover for dad?" Parker asked looking at the bubbling pan of mac and cheese they had just removed from the oven.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea Parker; he must be caught up in his work since he won't answer the phone, so I'm sure he's very hungry."

Brennan packed up the dinner with some plates and silverware, deciding that she and Parker could simply eat with Booth either in the break room or his office. They continued their animated talk about one of the experiments he watched that afternoon which of course, had resulted in a terrible smell from the combination of acids the Dude had used to model the digestion process of the human stomach.

She sent Parker to wash his hands as they got off the elevator on Booths floor, and she slowly made her way down the hall towards Booth's office so she could keep an eye out for the little boy coming out of the washroom.

"I don't care if we are dating you can't just barge in here yelling like you own the place! I could have been with a prosecutor or a suspect or my boss for Christ's sake! I'm sorry I didn't answer. I turned my phone off for taping at the lab this afternoon and must have forgotten to turn it back on You need to respect though that there are some boundaries in life that can't be crossed when you feel like it."

"Like the kind of boundaries you have with _Temperance_?"

Brennan didn't like the way her name sounded coming as a sneer out of the other woman's mouth and she had turned to make her way back to intercept Parker. She tried desperately to think of some excuse to give the boy to get him out of earshot of his father's obviously personal argument, when several things happened at once.

Booth was the first one to step out of his office and in the deserted hallway he saw her immediately, "Bones?"

"I'm sorry."

"Oh this is fucking great" Hannah snapped taking in the rather obvious fact that Brennan was carrying with her a dinner meant to be shared, "is this why we need to set boundaries _Seeley_?"

"Watch your language please" Brennan called over her shoulder as she continued towards the washroom, not wanting to expose Parker to anything more than Booth wanted him to know.

"Oh please, who the hell do you think you are?"

"Dad?"

"Parker?" at the sight of his son Booth's eyes sent a concerned glance towards Brennan.

"He's fine Booth" she reassured him without even noticing his gaze.

There was no mistaking the painful confusion that clouded over Parkers face as he took in the woman standing uncomfortably close to his father. He took a step closer to Brennan that didn't go unnoticed by any of the adults around him. Booth was crushed that it ever had to come to this with his son. Brennan's heart ached for Parker's confusion and the pain that his reaction must be causing Booth. And Hannah froze, seeing for the first time how low she ranked on Booth's level of importance.

"Dad? Who is she?"

* * *

Now were in trouble... whoops! Thats it for now folks, I really wanted to try to keep this in line with the story arc of the season which means nothing new till November (a perfect coincidence since I have anatomy exams coming up anyways). But after seeing the preview for Novembers episode last night I'm also not sure how much longer I will keep this in the season's arc. I'll let you know next time for sure but I may take this thing completely A/U, would that be cool with you all? Let me know. ~Sarah


	9. The truth in words unsaid

Anything you recognize belongs to Fox and Hart and everyone over there. I take full responsibility for everything else.

* * *

Parker Booth was fairly rational as far as young boys come but he was also quit sharp. It didn't take more than a second for him to process exactly who the strange woman standing next to his father was, and when he did he broke free from Bone's protective grasp on his shoulders and took off down the stairs, not willing to wait for the elevator.

"Seeley is that your-"

"Not now Hannah" he cut her off with a desperate glance at Brennan.

"Go after Parker" she said, her blue eyes colored with regret at the misunderstanding, "I will keep an eye on Miss Burley until you get back." Booth was off before she finished, but not before both women noticed the smile of gratitude that briefly graced his features.

"I don't think that's necessary Temperance" Hannah sneered starting down the hallway after Booth. When Brennan stepped into her path the journalist attempted to veer around only to be blocked by Brennan again. Hannah raised her arm to push Brennan out of the way and Brennan grabbed her, twisting her arm behind her back and effectively pinning the younger woman in place.

"I think it might be" Brennan said calmly, tightening her pressure on Hannah's arm slightly, "you and I both know Parker is the most important person in this moment, Booth will be back for you when they are both ready."

"What do you think you're doing?" Hannah continued to struggle against Brennan's grip, "you can't manhandle me like this, when Seeley hears about this-"

"I think Booth will have enough problems to deal with tonight don't you agree" Brennan said with measured composure, releasing Hannah's arm and turning the journalist to face her. "Do you really think this is going to even register with him tonight, he's just hurt the most important person in his world."

"I don't know what you think you're doing" Hannah was crowding into Brennan's face now, trying to shake the anthropologist down.

"I am simply helping out a friend, that's all Parker and I were trying to do earlier and that is all I am trying to do now. You need to stop jumping to conclusions; it's a poor way to conduct any sort of relationship." Hannah stared; slack jawed at the anthropologist as Brennan calmly continued, "For someone who loves him so much you really do have a poor understanding of Booth if you thought chasing after him would be a good idea."

Finally finding her voice Hannah was livid, "Oh because you know him and his son so well. Apparently well enough to have a little family picnic in his office while I'm at home wondering why he won't answer his phone. I guess I know now."

"I heard Booth explain to you why he turned his phone off earlier today. For such a smart man he really can be quite forgetful of simple things sometimes."

"For the love of god stop being so rational!" Hannah was getting red in the face as she screamed at Brennan, disarmed by the other woman's composure. "You know all you've been doing since he got back is trying to force your place back into Seeley's life."

"Well we are partners; some personal interaction is to be expected." Brennan may have had the upper hand when it came to firsthand knowledge of Booth, but Hannah had more experience reading people. She noticed change in inflection and the flash of hurt on Brennan's face at the word partners and jumped on that moment of vulnerability.

"All you're doing is making it harder and harder for him to be happy!"

"Him, or you?" Brennan's insightfulness seemed to shock the journalist who hadn't expected the scientist's ability to compartmentalize her emotions so effectively.

"Does it really make a difference?

"Absolutely" said Brennan, a malice in her eyes as she took her turn to crowd the younger woman's space.

.

.

"Parker!" Booth yelled, finally catching up with his son on the steps leading up to the Hoover building, he really was getting too old to run down all those stairs like that.

"You ruined everything Dad" his son cried, trying desperately to hold back the tears he didn't want to fall.

"What are you talking about Bub? And why on earth did you run off like that, you know better Parker." Booth dropped to sit next to his son, looking out into the night the same way he had done with his partner so many months before. The emotion of that night hit him all over again as Parker started to explain.

"That was your new girlfriend wasn't it? That's why you wanted to have a talk with me before this weekend. That's why we haven't been to see Bones since you've both been back, because you have some other person."

"Yes that is my new girlfriend, her name is Hannah. And I'm sorry that you had to find out like this Bub, I really wanted a chance to talk to you before you guys met." In a desperate attempt to close off his aching heart Booth chose to ignore the other part of Parkers question for the time being, not knowing that his son was going in for the sucker punch next.

"You don't get it Dad, its not that you have a girlfriend it's that you went out to get a new girlfriend. That's why Angela told me to keep it a secret, Bones already knew didn't she. Everyone knew but me!"

"Whoa Bub, what secret were you keeping for Angela?" Booth was more than familiar with the artists scheming ways but he thought that using his son against him was going a little far, even for her.

"I asked her today about you and Bones dating, she said that I needed to talk to you about it, but she knew about Hannah already didn't she Dad?" The sadness on his little boys face would have been enough to crush Booth's heart had his words not already done that part.

"Yeah Bub, she did. All the squints have met Hannah already. They think she's pretty cool and so do I. She makes me happy Parks, doesn't that count for something?"

"Happier than Bones?" Never one to willingly lie to his son, Booth gazed silently out into the starless night wondering where he'd been when his little boy had grown up.

.

.

"You do know that I've won right? Seeley is with me, not you Temperance. Whatever twisted little relationship you to had going is gone now, he doesn't need you anymore."

"Listen carefully Hannah, we have never been in competition for Booth's affections. I have been nothing but respectful and supportive of your relationship in your presence. My personal feelings have no bearing because Booth is happy and ultimately that is what I wanted for him. I suggest you get whatever misguided suspicions you have under control because Booth and I will continue to work together as professionals that is what we do."

There was a torrent of barely tamed emotion within Brennan that seemed to frighten Hannah. As she watched the anger, hurt, longing and regret swirl across Brennan's face she knew that they were not through with this conversation. Temperance held her eyes with a determined gaze making it clear that she was not above fighting with Hannah to ensure Booth's happiness. Not ready to go out without her best fight Hannah played her trump card.

"So as professionals you'll stop trying to force your way back into Booth's heart." She couldn't help the small smirk that crossed her face as the anthropologist froze at her words.

"I have never forced anything on him, Booth has a very open heart" came Brennan's reply, the words trailing off as she seemingly justified them to herself.

"So open that you think he'll always have a place for you, just because he pities you too much to abandon you." So reading into Brennan's background may not have been the most ethical thing Hannah had ever done, but she had been pleased with some of the tidbits she had turned up.

"You say that like it's a bad thing" the fight was dropping fast from Brennan but she was determined to hold on for Booth's sake. She had endured worse barbs in the past and she refused to let his girlfriend defame his character.

"It is when you hold such a large part of his heart that he can't easily love anyone else."

Neither woman heard the ding from the elevator as the boys they had been waiting on arrived back on the floor. Booth and Parker were in a silent truce for now, both lost in their own thoughts and hearts as they made their way back not knowing what they were coming back to.

"I think you misunderstand our relationship again Hannah, Booth doesn't love me"

* * *

Yes, I know I said I was taking a 2-week break while baseball was on but I've been so overwhelmed by your positive responses it seemed unfair to make you all wait that long. I know that's a terrible place to stop but that is all for this week (sorry!). There will be another chapter of similar length next week and then thats it till November. I want to get through the whole Hannah getting shot thing before I let my own storyline take over completely. Good news is after that updates will be more frequent because I know exactly where this is going to end. See you again next Thursday! ~Sarah


	10. The thoughts in the journalist

If you think it looks familiar, it's probably not mine...

* * *

_Last Time_

_"I think you misunderstand our relationship again Hannah, Booth doesn't love me"_

_._

_._

The look of pain on her partners face as he stepped out of the elevator was enough to make Temperance Brennan want to take the words back immediately. But she had said them for Booth's behalf, in hopes that she could appease her girlfriend and give him the chance at happiness that he deserved. If she thought saying those words was impossible though she wasn't sure she had a quantifier for her reaction to her partner's response.

"We both know that's a lie Bones" Booth said quietly refusing to meet the gaze of anyone around him. He knew now his mistake in never saying the words out loud, he'd seen hints of the conclusion his partner had drawn from his silence. But to hear her plainly state such a blatant falsehood was more than even his battered heart could bear.

"Seeley?"

"Booth?"

Both women spoke at the same time though their questions were achingly different. There was disbelief and anger in Hannah's voice as though she had found him cheating with another. But it was the disappointment in Brennan's voice that drew his gaze. He stared into her face as if seeing her for the first time, and the vulnerability she was trying so hard to push away pulled at his heart.

"Seeley?" Hannah tried again to gain his attention, her voice now painfully desperate as she watched the scene before her. She started to step towards him, past Brennan who was frozen in place, but Parker stopped her advances with a glare.

Seeing the little boy at Booth's side was the push Brennan needed to put her own emotions aside. As much as she wanted to this was neither the time nor place for this conversation. Moving towards the men before her she stopped at Parker's level and wrapped him in a hug. "Take care of your dad for me tonight okay?" she asked in a whisper. Parker nodded silently not sure what was happening around him.

Rising to her feet Brennan looked up into Booth's gaze her heart aching as he watched her with a tender confusion. Resolute in her decision to do things the right way, the way they deserved she steeled her resolve and dropped her gaze. "I'm sorry" she whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

With that she was gone, down the stairs Parker had taken earlier, and out into the night before anyone upstairs could react. Hannah tried not to stare as Booth started after Brennan. It was clear Parker's grasp on his hand was the only thing stopping him from chasing after his partner and she added that to the growing list of evidence she had been gathering against her own relationship in the week since she had moved in.

It had started with little things, like not knowing how he took his coffee in the morning, not a tragedy in of itself but it the fact that she knew Temperance did made her resent it nonetheless. As she had watched the growing happiness he'd had heading into work the last few days she couldn't help but long for the days when she got to see that look spring onto his face only when he caught sight of her.

Booth pulled her out her musings not a minute after Temperance had left. He wrapped his arm around her and placed a gentle almost apologetic kiss in her hair, well out of Parker's eyesight. Booth made an attempt at conversation that she and Parker jumped on and continued down to the car, though for whose sake she wasn't sure. She had so been looking forward to meeting Seeley's son this weekend, everyone she'd met spoke so highly of him and it was clear from the effort he put in on his dad's behalf that he really was a wonderful young man. It wasn't her fault that, like his father, Parker's heart clearly already belonged to another.

By the time they reached the car the conversation had lagged and rather than force it to continue Hannah reached over to turn on the radio to one of Booth's presets. A soft jazz station filled the SUV, not something she would have pictured Seeley putting on his radio. And as she considered the knobs proximity to the passenger's seat she realized with a steadily growing ache that most likely he hadn't.

She watched with an aching smile as Seeley heated up some of the macaroni for his son, pretending that she didn't see the tender smile on her boyfriends face as he snuck his own bite. She passed on his offer to heat some up for her, the anxiety in her stomach to great to even think of taking in food. She opened her laptop and read the proposal for her next assignment, her editor had been pleased with her idea giving her full clearance to start as soon as she liked. She considered telling Seeley but the quiet conversation between father and son stopped her, she didn't want to interrupt that. Besides the she wasn't to certain he would be as fond of the project as she was, not that he really cared about her much at all she reminded herself bitterly.

The boys pulled her out of her bitter thoughts as they prepared for bed. As Seeley followed his son into his bedroom Hannah was left momentarily looking around the place that just a week ago she had started calling home. The phone on his coffee table, something she would have considered both outdated and eccentric, was just another piece of evidence to how little she really knew of the man she was supposed to be sharing her life with.

She heard him talking softly with Parker, leading the boy through his prayers. She turned away holding back a sob as she padded into the darkened bedroom they had been sharing so happily. The king sized bed that normally filled her with excitement looked so empty without him in it. By the time she had finished preparing for bed Seeley had finished with Parker. He was gathering up the pillow from his side and the extra blanket from his closet. She pretended not to notice his phone vibrating on the dresser.

"I can take the couch tonight if you like." It was the first sentence he had spoken directly to her all evening and she couldn't help the tears that leaked out of her eyes at his words.

"I'm so sorry" he said his voice laced with genuine regret though over what she wasn't entirely sure. "This isn't how I wanted you two to meet, this isn't how I wanted any of this to go." He looked so lost as she sat beside him that she couldn't stop herself from wrapping her arms around him. The warmth of his embrace reminded her of all they had done right together as she leaned in to kiss him. His response was eager and for a few blissful moments she forgot all that had transpired this evening. But he wouldn't meet her gaze as he pulled away.

"We- we can't do this right now" he chocked out, "it's just Parker" her understanding lasted all of a moment as he continued, "he left his backpack earlier, Bones just found it now, she was going to bring it over so I didn't have to get it in the morning."

He had the decency to pull away as he finished explaining, though she wasn't sure if that made the ache in her heart better or worse. "So I'm just going to go wait for her, I'll come back in when I'm done if you'd like but you should get some sleep. It's been a long day for all of us."

He kissed her gently on the forehead as he walked out to the living room. She settled back into the cold, empty bed with a sigh reviewing the facts that she had collected. She heard Temperance's soft knock at the door not to much later and the sound of their soft voices soon carried into the bedroom. The fact that she was out there with him while the rest of the world was asleep, while Seeley and her would normally still be wrapped in the thrill of one another's passion was enough to send a wave of jealously through Hannah, jealously not for what they were talking about but the fact that they had each other to cling to in their hurt. Nevertheless the sounds of their voices lulled her into a restless sleep as the nights events took their toll on her.

She barely stirred as Seeley came into the bed much later and wrapped his arm around her the same as he always did. She snuggled into him, embracing the few moments of comfort she could take even as the decision she had made weighed on her heart.

She awoke in the morning almost willing to forget all the heartache she had endured the night before. She was greeted with a very enthusiastic kiss good morning as Seeley claimed first dibs on the shower. She wandered out to start coffee and stopped dead in her tracks. Sitting on the table was a small blue and yellow backpack. The sight of that object was enough to send her whole world crashing down around her and she was painfully reminded of all that had transpired the night before.

She snuck back into the bedroom to dress quickly for work, hoping the new project her boss had mentioned would be enough of a distraction from the ache in her heart. In her haste to get herself out of their bedroom she didn't notice the well worn leather notebook that had recently taken place on the dressers surface.

* * *

_What I wouldn't give to not be too late. To have taken your offer, trusted your heart when you wanted to take that chance. You may not have been ready to say the words as much as I ached to hear them. But we could have made it work. If only I had known that would be our last moment I would have clung to you and never let you go. As I stand now I have only the memory to cling to, my bitter reminder of all I have lost. The look on your face tonight was one I thought I had chased away forever, terribly self-centered of me I know. But I really can't bear the fact that the mere mention of another woman, the sight of her face in a picture, is enough to make you so happy. Happier in fact than I think I have ever seen you with me. It is simply another piece of evidence in my heart that I did the right thing pushing you away. I was not meant for your happiness any more than you were meant to be my center. The fate you believe in is nothing but a cruel lie._

* * *

So please don't shoot me! I know there's a lot of Hannah here, but she's thinking good, happy, I don't belong with Booth thoughts... I know a lot of you guys are against her but I think she works as a catalyst between them and for that she stays for now. Just the one chapter this week, but once Hannah gets shot (!) next week I plan on taking this whole thing completely in my own direction, so thats a good thing right?

Sarah


	11. The words in his hands

**I still don't own anything... but you already knew that**.

* * *

Seeley Booth had hoped a weekend filled with sports, laughter and Parker would be just what he needed to ease the ache in his heart and give him perspective on his relationship. Hannah had not come home Friday night, calling him to say she was sending feelers out on a new story and would be working most of the weekend anyways.

He accepted the thinly veiled attempt to give him more time with his son without question. That was what he loved about Hannah she knew that he would need space with Parker and she gave him that. No questions asked. It was more kindness than he deserved after all that had played out at his office and it was with a guilty heart that he went through the motions of his weekend with Parker.

And he hated himself for that because nobody, not Bones and certainly not Hannah should ever be able to take his mind away form Parker. The thing about kids is they're sharp, and his kid had spent a good deal of his free time willingly hanging with squints which made him sharper than most his age. So Booth wasn't surprised when Parker went through their weekend as though he was having the time of his life eating ice cream and playing catch with his father. Had it been any other weekend Booth would have been thrilled but the fact that they both so obviously avoided discussing what had happened Thursday evening added more weight to Booth's heavy heart.

Besides the weekend filled with Catholic guilt Booth was reminded all to painfully come Sunday night of all that had passed once he'd left his office with his son and lover in tow. He had tried to start a conversation with them to no avail. Hannah had turned on Bone's radio station to fill the silence, filling Booth's heart with an ache as steady as the melodies that stretched around him.

.

.

He had fed his son dinner and led him through his prayers as if it were any other night. He heard Hannah getting ready for bed in their room as he checked his phone for messages from Rebecca, prolonging the inevitable. He had been shocked to see a message from Bones, his hand moving to the spot on his check her lips had caressed even as he read her name off the screen.

_Parker left his bag in my car, should I drop it by tonight or in the morning. _

Short, blunt and to the point. Everything he loved about Bones. Everything he was missing in the journal she had also burdened him with that night.

She'd come by bearing the small blue and yellow bag in front of her like a shield. She had handed it off with a small smile, asking if Parker was okay, if he had anything to eat. Caring for his son and crushing his heart all in the breath. He assured her of Parker's condition with a small smile. Both choosing to ignore the sadness they saw in the others eyes.

She pulled a small leather bound book from behind the backpack. And all but shoved it into his hands. "You've seen my heart Booth. I know this is a bad time but I don't know if there will ever be a better one. I need you to know that I knew."

"Bones it's been a long night, now is not the time to start playing games with me."

"I have never been more serious; you said that night that you knew. But you didn't, not then and if you did then we're even farther apart than I thought."

"Bones you're not making sense."

"Just read it Booth" she said tears threatening to spill out of her eyes for the second time that night. "If you still want anything to do with me after that we an talk on Monday."

"Bones" there was a plea in his voice that she hadn't heard since that night and it was almost enough to pull her back, to offer further explanations. But she steeled her will and walked away from him again.

.

.

And that was where he was now. Sitting on his couch with a journal he was afraid to open. With an apartment that was empty without the laughter of his son, the chatter of his girlfriend, the stream of anthropological jibber jabber of his partner.

Even in his private thoughts he couldn't be rid of her. With a resigned sigh he opened his beer, reclined into his couch and began to read.

.

_I had always maintained that objects had no intrinsic magical powers. But tonight you gave me back my mothers earring, a small gesture after all you have done in helping to clear my name this week. But still that moment changed things more than I think you understand. I'm sure you took the earring to give me simply to make a point, to show me that even I could be impacted by all the voodoo mumbo jumbo you'd been spouting off. But for a moment there, when you held my gaze I felt like you knew. You knew that this was something bigger than an earring, bigger even then trust in your partner. I felt for a moment like you knew that part of my heart that I try so hard to contain. The part that holds wishes and hopes, that believes in magic and forever. For a moment tonight I swear you saw me._

_._

_There is a delicate line between us __Booth__, you put it there because you needed it and I cling to it because it gives me a logical reason to put aside my feelings. If there is a line I cannot cross it gives me something tangible and solid to force my emotions behind. I saw in your eyes today as we sat at the park that you were scared and I know that's why you drew this line. And I'm scared too, so scared that if you hadn't acted so quickly, that if you hadn't given us a logical reason to maintain a professional relationship I would have acted terribly irrational and admitted to something I shouldn't have. _

.

_I have faith in you. Hodgins said it so plainly that I couldn't contradict it at the time but I know it to be true now more than ever. This is the third time this week I have woken up alone in the dark of my room, gasping for air that I do not need. I am not in that car any more, I am safe, alone in my apartment. You made sure of that, just as I knew you would. But I can't help but long for your arms around me now as I sit in the middle of my apartment. I have picked up the phone so many times, ready to dial your number and admit to you just how close I came to losing the best thing that has ever happened to me, just how close I came to losing you without ever having told you how I feel. I have the words I cannot say on a separate piece of paper, one I wrote for you if Hodgins and I had failed in our attempt to get ourselves out. That paper sits on a shelf next to my dresser, taunting me with the thoughts I should not have the words I cannot say, the love I cannot share._

_._

_You did it again today, made some blithe little comment that stirred up all these feelings of longing and hope inside of me before wrapping it back into the mask of partnership we share. I don't need you to tell me that love can't be measured in my lab Booth, though more than once I have considered running an experiment on the feeling of heartbreak these little comments bring about. How can you say things like this to me, like you're offering me the world though I know you aren't. I know these words aren't meant for me, you don't care how I feel about love because as far as you understand I'm too clinical and cold to believe in it's existence. What you don't know is that detachment is the only coping mechanism I have managed to make work for me over the years. Any love I have ever felt has ended in pain, and even that loss cannot compare to the absolute anguish of loving someone you know will never love you back. It is terribly unfortunate that love and loss and heartbreak cannot be quantified in the lab, I don't need further tangible proof of what I'm feeling._

_._

_You weren't there. You were dead, you can't possibly understand what it was like to watch you bleed out under my hands. To sit in the hospital waiting for a word on your status as your blood dried on my skin. To go home, alone and see your blood covering me, knowing that as hard as I scrubbed I wouldn't be able to get it off. I went and laid in your bed that night, just to be surrounded by your scent as irrational as that is. I had dreamed for so long of what it would be like to be in your bed and my heart still caught in the first moment before I remembered why I was there. I don't think I slept that night, I know I barely slept in the weeks that followed, it was just easier to push myself into work, to ignore the world you brought me into, to pretend like you weren't gone. You seemed upset that I didn't cry at your funeral, that I didn't even want to be there. I had no more tears left in me. I had no strength to stand. I didn't want to be there at your side as they lowered you into the ground because that would be admitting that you were gone and I wasn't ready to do that. I know now more than ever that opening my heart to love you was the biggest mistake of my life. Loving you brought me more pain than I have ever known, so much pain that I don't know if I can go back to our friendship, I don't know if I can go back to you for fear of losing you again. I don't think I would survive a second time._

_._

___You said you know who I am. You held me close and I almost believed you for a moment. But you don't, you can't. because if you really knew me, if you knew what was in my heart you wouldn't be here. I would lose you the same way I have lost everything else I have ever loved. You would run like my parents and never look back. So as much as it comforted me to hear in the moment I hope you never really know me Booth. You don't deserve to know what is in my heart because I could only cause you pain. And I don't want you to know what's in my heart because I can't bear to lose you._

___._

_You didn't know me. You did, but not the me I really am. You dreamed the story I told you in vivid Technicolor and I only wish I could have experienced the blissful moments of love I gave us in the story. But you didn't know me. And I panicked. I need you in my life, I've nearly lost you far to many times to count and you can't keep doing this to my heart because I don't know how much longer I can take it._

_._

_You didn't fight for me. I was so sure you were, even though I knew you weren't ready to love me yet. You wanted to gamble, to take a chance on us. But I've been all in for years and I didn't want you to do the same without being ready. So I tell you no, and try to explain. But instead of listening you say you have to move on. I'm almost glad you didn't say you loved me that night, because as you spent so many years opening me up to the idea that love is more that a fleeting emotion I don't know if I could have handled that declaration from you followed by what you did. I know I crushed your heart, you looked so sad that I almost took back what I said. But then you had to go and say you were going to move on, and that just set it in. you don't love me, at least not in the way I love you, the way you have described it for me over the course of our partnership. I doesn't even matter what I did or didn't say because you don't love me, that is now perfectly clear. I simply have to put on a brave face for you while I figure out how I can possibly rebuild the walls around my heart._

_._

_It was silly of me to hope. You said you were going to move on and you did. I may have failed to put my walls back up during our time apart but there was no reason for your happiness to cut me so. I have no claim over you or your heart and it truly does ease my pain to see you happy, though the relief is counteracted by the doubling of pain I get from seeing you so happy with someone else. But I have never known love to bring anything but pain so this should be no different for me. I want you to be happy, and if she does that for you then I have no reason to feel this ache in my chest. The sooner I can reconcile these feelings the sooner I can move on to being your partner, your atta-girl, your friend. I just have to reconcile with my heart that it will be enough._

.

He pushed the journal away, disgust, love, hate, hope and thousands of other nameless emotions spiraling through him as he cradled his head in his hands. Defeat slumped his shoulders as emotional exhaustion claimed his conscious mind.

* * *

Should I duck for cover now, or tell you that Hannah will be gone within the next few chapters first? Now I'm ducking! This is off the tracks of cannon now and running loose in my mind, you all have been great about giving me feedback for now, I hope I can continue to keep you with me as I try to right the mess that has become of this season already. BTW what was up with Hannah taking Brennan's sunglasses tonight? Such a random scene at the end...

Sarah


	12. The fight in facing the facts

**I can't claim ownership over anything you recognize, that all belongs to Fox.**

**And a big old shout out to shopgirl909 who keep reminding me I need to either pay better attention the the rules of the English language or find someone to proofread for me...anyone good with that sort of thing so she doesn't have to keep doing so?**

* * *

Monday morning's alarm came far too early for Seeley Booth, though he was unable to determine if it was physical or mental exhaustion that pinned him to his bed. Grabbing his phone as he stumbled to the kitchen looking to start some coffee he flipped through his messages. Two from Bones, one from Sweets, and one from Hannah. Seeing as Bones' messages had come in on either side of Sweets' he chose to ignore those for a moment, instead opening up Hannah's. His exhaustion doubled upon reading her brief text and he stumbled to the shower with hopes of clearing his head. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

_Seeley, I'm going to be in and out of meetings all day. Apparently there's all sorts of hoops to jump through with a story in a dangerous neighborhood. I'll call you when I can, we need to talk tonight._

_._

_Booth, I'll drop the paperwork from our last case off in your office later today, I hope you had a good weekend with Parker._

_._

_Agent Booth, Dr. Brennan and I are having breakfast this morning at the diner if you would be interested in joining us. I might even be persuaded to write it off as one of your mandatory sessions._

_._

_Booth, if Sweets has invited you to breakfast please feel no obligation to attend. I requested his time for a personal matter and I am sure you have enough of your own things to do on a Monday morning._

* * *

It hadn't been a lie when she told Seeley that she would be in meetings all morning. She did have to meet with her photographer, and the man the original tip had come from to decide how to go about this story.

But she still couldn't help but feel a little guilty as she slipped into the Jeffersonian Institute, eyes wide for anyone who could catch her presence and rat her out. She made her way to the office of Angela Montenegro-Hodgins, hoping for a little advice on her current predicament.

One look at Hannah and Angela's heart dropped. Bren had been quiet all weekend, and she was certain the woman in front of her now knew at least part of the reason.

"Thank you for coming to meet me before everyone else got here Angela. I just don't know who else to turn to here, I don't exactly have girlfriends of my own. And this is probably unfair of me because I know you're pretty involved with Seeley and Temperance-"

"We're a family, yes, but I do want both of them to be happy. I don't know why you think I'm the best one to help you…"

"We used to live the same type of life, floating from place to place. You chased your interests and inspirations, I chased the next big story. What made you decide to settle down?"

Panic ripped through Angela and she couldn't help but ask, "Booth didn't propose to you did he?" Her breath returned at Hannah's negative nod. "Sorry" she chuckled out, "but when you start a question like that a girls gotta ask."

"I can see that you panicked at that thought Angela, and I can't say I blame you. That's why I wanted to come to you, to get feedback on what I've noticed around here before I make any life swaying decisions. " Gathering her thoughts and her breath the journalist began relaying the pain of her weekend.

"I met Parker Thursday night. Obviously it wasn't a planned meeting. He was shocked, I was hurt, and while Seeley dealt with his son I took my anger out on Temperance. I tried to goad her into losing her composure, to admitting that there was something between her and Seeley, because the sight of her and his son bringing him a picnic dinner was just too intimate to bear. She told me I didn't have to worry because Seeley didn't love her."

She paused for a moment to take in Angela's expression, mixed with pain and shock before continuing. "Seeley chose that moment to come back upstairs and I have to say his face rivaled yours, he looked like she had literally ripped his heart out. And he told her that wasn't true. They lost each other in a long staring contest after that, like they were both afraid to blink, like-"

"Like they were the only ones there. Nothing else could touch them as long as they held the other's gaze." Angela finished for her. Both women choosing to ignore the tears shining in the others eyes. "They do that a lot, they have been for years."

"He's never once looked at me like that." The clinical tone with which Hannah presented the statement made Angela think, for a second, that she was sitting with Brennan.

"I don't want to mistrust Seeley, and he says they're just partners-"

"He's not sleeping with her if that's what you're worried about." Angela was so quick to defend her friend's honor that she almost missed how completely that fact crushed the journalist.

"I think it would be easier if he was." She whispered quietly, biting back tears from the pain she was feeling, from the pity she could see in the eyes of the friend that wasn't hers, from the sheer defeat in her own relationship that she was now looking square in the face.

"I know what you mean." The pain in Angela's voice was evident, the apology written clear across her features. She had nothing against Hannah, had she come to their little circle at a different time she might have even accepted her as a friend. But personal feelings aside no one deserved to be in her position.

Lost in her own musings the artist was startled to see Hannah rising from her place on the couch. The pain in the blonde's eyes was evident but Angela noticed the steely resolve, again so similar to her best friend, and she knew that Hannah would be strong enough to overcome this and she envied that woman her strength because Angela was falling apart simply thinking about the fallout that would surely follow this weekend.

"Do you know where I can find Temperance? Not to cause any more problems I promise" she added seeing the protectiveness rise in Angela's face. "I just want to tell her that I will be back to kick her ass if she doesn't get this straightened out."

Offering a small chuckle and recognizing the deflection of emotion for what it was Angela paused. "From the sound of your weekend she's probably hiding out in bone storage, unless they have a case…"

"I haven't seen Seeley all weekend, I wouldn't know." Again Angela marveled at the other woman's composure.

"Well then I'll find her for you just give me a few." And with that Angela left the journalist to gather her broken heart on her couch, while Angela steeled her own will to prepare for the fight she knew was coming.

.

.

After an uncomfortable breakfast with Sweets, since when had he become a friend to them and not an opponent to be beaten by the sheer force of their personalities combined, Booth was grateful for the call of a case. Until he remembered that he would have to ride to the crime scene with his partner. Bones. Whose thoughts and emotions he had spent the previous night pouring over and hadn't even processed himself yet.

He considered asking her why she had asked Sweets for a personal meeting, and why the psychologist had thought it would be a good idea to invite him along. He then reconsidered the studying glances Sweet's had been shooting his way all morning and decided he didn't want to know just yet.

He tried to buy time. Started some ridiculous conversation that he knew they'd disagree over. But even their usual banter, which he thought had been getting better just last week, had lost its playful edge. He felt mean and she looked hurt and so they stopped. He saw her open her mouth to say something, pause, and then slam it shut shaking her head softly. He was grateful for the silence even as it stretched thickly between them.

The crime scene was business as usual and it wasn't until he automatically reached to brush her back and lead her to the SUV as normal. the way he used to. Before he laid his heart down and she pushed it away. Before they had run off to opposite end of the world. Before he had come home, and Hannah had followed because she actually wanted him. That one little action was all it took for the fragile control he'd had over his emotions to snap.

"Where did all those feelings come from Bones?" he practically shouted the words leaving his lips without a second thought, though the look of shock that crossed her face was enough to make him realize what he had just said. And that a crime scene was probably no the best place to be having this conversation. She seemed to agree with him as she stepped into the car and turned to face his side, waiting for him to close his door before she spoke.

" I felt the need to offer some explanation for my actions on Thursday night. Not wanting to let the feelings sit with you all weekend, and ruin your time with both Hannah and Parker, I thought that giving you a chance to peruse the meaning at your own pace would allow me that explanation, while making the least problematic impact on your current life."

"We both know that when you start to talk in really long phrases without breathing that there's more than what you're saying Bones" he said with a sigh, not having enough energy to sort through the squint and find the truth of her words today.

"After seeing how my attempt to rectify Hannah's fears for your relationship seemed to cause you emotional pain, I thought I needed to provide you with the reasoning by which I was able to present that evidence to her that night."

"I am not going to ask you again Bones" he spat, his anger rising at her continued attempt to push off the matter.

" I needed to show you that I knew you never loved me, not the way I loved you, and not the way you taught me love should be." She was the one yelling now, fear and anguish rippling through her voice as she held her tears at bay by sheer force of will.

Booth had caught the gist of explanation the first two times but hearing her say it so plainly, and seeing what it cost her to put the words out there was more than his battered heart could bear.

"I can't do this."

"You're the one who started the conversation Booth, I assumed that meant you were ready to discuss whatever it is that has made you so uncomfortable."

He let out a dry, coughing laugh though there was nothing amusing about any part of the situation. "The woman I love admits she has loved me as long as I've known her. Before she even really knew what love was. And yet she pushed me away when I wanted to take a chance on us, because she doesn't believe I love her. So excuse me for having a little difficulty with the conversation."

"What do you want me to say Booth. You never gave me a chance to explain, you only piled on more evidence that you didn't actually love me."

"I don't see how you get to decide if I love you or not Bones."

"You never said you did."

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**So can I just say how amazing all of you are? 100 reviews, seriously made my day when I saw I had hit that mark and it's all thanks to you, your wonderful support and feedback and for that I say thank you. Now that I've gone off course from the show in terms of interaction I'm going to try to update this more regularly :)I know theres still a lot of Hannah but she's leaving soon, as you can see she knows when she's not wanted.**

**Sarah**


	13. The hearts on the line

**If it looks familiar it doesn't belong to me...**

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_Last time..._

_''What do you want me to say Booth. You never gave me a chance to explain you only piled on more evidence that you didn't actually love me."_

_"I don't see how you get to decide that Bones."_

_"You never said you did."_

.

.

She had him there. In a cowardly attempt to shield his heart that night he hadn't uttered the words, knowing that once he said them there would be no going back for him. As her rejection had stretched between them he had been able to convince himself that he had done the right thing, saving a part of his heart no matter how small. He had held the words in, telling himself that his actions over the years offered up more than enough proof. He had convinced his heart that saying them aloud wouldn't have made the slightest bit of difference, though it was becoming abundantly clear that they made all the difference in the world.

The look of absolute horror that crossed her partners face was almost enough to make Brennan take the comment back, to try and talk herself out of admitting the pain and heartache that his omission had cost them both. But she had to be strong now, and fight for them in the only way she had left, even if all it did was save them from themselves. As she tired to mask her own pain the words rose out of her, filling the ever growing chasm between them.

"There is no chance, no shot, no gamble for us Booth, at least not for me. I spent two weeks without you once and it was long enough to know that I can't live a life without you. I can't do it Booth, I need you in my life in some capacity or there is no purpose left in me. But you didn't give me a chance to explain myself to you. I know you were hurt that night but I was hurting too and before I could even try to get the words out you told me you had to move on."

There were tears choking her voice and streaming down her face but she continued strong. She had to do this for them, so maybe they could set things right in their world. Forcing herself to hold Booth's gaze even as the pain she saw ripped at her shattered heart she said the hardest words she had ever said in her life.

"I knew, right then in that moment that you couldn't possibly love me the way I love you. I love you, in every sense of the word you have ever described to me, every feeling you have ever made me believe in. And there is no moving on from that Booth."

She quieted then, letting the tears she had been forcing back fall free as she waited for her partner to say something. The strength that had bubbled up in her heart, telling her to keep going because this might be her last chance, had faded now and she was left in the seat of the SUV with nothing but Booth's horrified gaze to keep her anchored to all that was passing between them.

Booth had been quiet the entire time she spoke, and even as she quieted her words, sobs claiming her voice as she continued to hold his gaze he couldn't bring himself to speak. Everything she had said was true, in protecting his own heart he had broken not only it but her heart as well and there was no forgiving himself for that. All this time he had been taking his guilt form that night and channeling it into resentment for her, for doing this to him, to them. He had never been so wrong in all his life.

But now he had no words, how do you apologize for something like that anyways? And so the silence stretched on between them filling the chasm he had driven between the two of them since returning. He didn't know how to breach it, how could he possibly reach out to her, to comfort her pain when his own heart lay shriveled in his chest.

He was happy with Hannah, superficial actions aside there was a lightness in his heart that he hadn't felt in years. And it felt so damn good to be wanted by someone, not simply needed. But was this momentary happiness he'd found worth the loss of a lifetime filled with something great. Was it worth the loss of a love that had the power to transcend the very fiber of his being and grip his very soul? Suddenly the time he had spent with Hannah seemed very cruel to everyone around him.

As the silence stretched on between them Brennan's heart collapsed. She now knew exactly how he had felt on those steps so many months ago. She had laid her heart down and gotten no response from him, the cruelest form of rejection there was. But she refused to back down from her declaration. Her feelings had been laid bare and, as much as she wanted to pull them back in and wrap them as a shield around her broken heart, she knew there was nothing left to do.

As Booth continued to stare at her pain etched across every plane of his symmetrical face she knew she had been too late. There was no chance left for them, their time had passed while she was too weak and he was too cautious to fight for it.

Suddenly the silence in the SUV was too heavy, the space to confining for the grief wrapping around her, so akin to the dark moment years ago now when her world had been ripped from beneath her. Tearing her gaze from his face she forced her way out of the car and ran. He didn't give chase and she didn't expect him to. Why follow the one thing that is guaranteed to cause your heart nothing but pain. With shaky fingers she dialed a cab, not once looking back as she waited for its arrival and climbed inside. The repetition of the situation wasn't lost on her but she no longer had the strength to dwell on it. With a shuddering breath she gazed out her window in silence, shutting her brain down until they reached the Jeffersonian. Arranging her face as carefully as she could she scrubbed at her cheeks and squared her shoulders as she headed towards the one person left who might be able to tell her what to do.

.

.

Booth felt as though his heart had stopped. That had to be the reason for the pain coursing through him, so intense that he might as well be numb. Bones held his gaze, his grief so raw it was almost palpable in the air between them. As the silence stretched on in the car he saw panic come over her features and she fought her way out of the SUV. Sob's of his own still choking his throat his cry out failed to catch her attention. He wasn't even entirely sure that the gasping noise counted for anything.

As she ran away from the car, pulling out her phone and raising it to her ear he forgot how to move. The weight of his failure held him in his seat, panic and loathing and disgust pinning him down. This was the third time he'd watched her get into a cab and ride away. The third time they had opened their hearts and she'd run away without him chasing her or putting up a fight. It was the first time that she didn't look back to him with a glimmer of hope that maybe he was coming, that if not tonight, things could look better tomorrow. And that cut him the most because after years of fighting and loving, of running and chasing she chose now to lose her trust in them.

His voice returned to him with a roaring sob. All his anger, loss, grief and longing torn from his body with a single raw gasp of emotion. Taking a minute to let the pain wash over him he quieted himself enough to call in the retrieval team, to get the evidence back to the lab so she could do something, for herself, for their victim. Calling in the case was all he had energy to do and he threw his phone away from him in disgust as soon as he was done.

He tried in vain to gulp in air and even out his breathing, but he literally felt as though he was coming undone at his very core. His failure washing over him he gunned the SUV and started to drive. He had just screwed up again, and he was certain this time he had lost everything for good. No, a mocking voice reminded him bitterly in the back of his mind, he still had Hannah. Crying out again he began to drive aimlessly around the city, waiting for the ache in his chest to calm long enough for him to think. Then again there wasn't much to think about only grim acceptances to make before he would have to continue going about his life. But he wasn't sure how on earth he was supposed to do it, what do you do when you realize you've broken your own heart?

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**Happy Thursday! The feedback last chapter was phenomenal, you guys thank you so much! I hope this starts to ease some of your worries though there isn't much resolution here... sorry!**

**There will be more on Sunday, so see you then!**

**Sarah**


	14. The argument in the anthropologist

**If you've seen it before I probably don't own it...**

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**

Hannah Burley was the last person Temperance Brennan expected to find sitting in her best friend's office. Looking at the normally vibrant woman sitting alone on Angela's couch Brennan couldn't help but wonder just what had transpired between the couple after she left on that Thursday night.

With a resigned sigh Hannah looked at Temperance, who was decidedly worse for the wear and figured a direct approach was the best way to spare both of them some heartache.

"Sit" she said briskly, surprised when the other woman dropped quietly to the couch. Though Temperance did look about ready to collapse at any moment, so perhaps she shouldn't take the anthropologist's compliance as a personal victory. Gathering her breath she began speaking some of the hardest words of her life.

"I don't know what happened and I don't want to. That's personal between the two of you and it's not my place to ask. But he's coming for you. He's not ready yet but when he is you'll know. And when he comes to you I want you to be there. I want you to hold him tight and never let him go because you both deserve that. Our time here is too precious to waste away everything that's ours. I want to apologize for making a scene before, for fighting you so hard for his heart even though I never had any real claim on it. You don't need me to tell you that Seeley is a great guy Temperance you know yourself that he is the best kind of man there is. And I'm trusting you to take care of him because you're the only one who can. I tried so hard, but I only added to his pain because he knew he was hurting all three of us by being with me. He wants to be there for you and he wants you there for him. That's all, no grand gestures or proclamations. It hasn't worked in the past and it left you both scared and shy. But you don't need to be careful with him or his heart, you've held it for so long whether you knew it or not and all you have to do is embrace that."

"Please, no. I want him to be happy. I never meant to strain your relationship. Is there something I can do, do you both need space? I can go away for a dig, give you a chance to reestablish your relationship and fit it into the new context of your lives outside of the warzone without straining Booth's focus by having him rebuild and reestablish the boundaries of his partnership at the same time."

"You do that a lot don't you. Start spouting off anthropological observations and justifications when you feel cornered?" Any other time Hannah would have continued pressing Temperance just to see how deep this defense coursed but she didn't have the energy. Not today when she decided to lay down her happiness for another. Not today when she had to admit that she had lost.

"I am not in a corner Hannah, physically or metaphorically. I didn't realize that my presence here was putting a strain on your relationship is all. Booth and I have been going through some… difficult adjustments in our partnership recently. We're trying to reestablish boundaries and regain each others trust, but whenever he talked about you he seemed to be rather happy, though he could be using that to deflect his anger towards me. But please, whatever you need me to do so you don't leave him, tell me and it's done. "

"Temperance, stop! All you're doing is giving me more evidence to support my conclusion."

"I don't know what you mean"

"I love Seeley, I really do. Enough to try and put down roots for him, to try and settle into the life he has here in DC and see if I could make it a life all my own. But I'm not ready to do that, even for him. And I would never run away from my job, my family, my entire life to try and make him happy. I don't think I could ever put someone's happiness so completely before mine. And the fact that you are even willing to consider doing so gives me all the evidence I need."

"But I can't change; I can't open my heart to him because I can't trust him not to leave. I can't love him the way he wants to be loved, the way he deserves to be loved because I don't know how. You have to give him a chance to be happy Hannah, he loves you so much"

"Not as much as he loves you. I am not a quitter Temperance but I have some self preservation and I know when I've come across a fight that I can't win. I need to look out for my own happiness"

"I'm not trying to fight you Hannah. Booth doesn't love me; he has made that fact abundantly clear. So please, I need you to fight for him, the way he won't let me. I need you to give him this chance at happiness, I'm begging you."

The anthropologist was almost in tears again, holding them back out of pride more than anything. She couldn't remember crying so much in a single day since Booth had died. Not that, that mattered because he hadn't he was alive and in love and she was going to fight for his happiness because it was the only chance she could see at trying to maintain her own. She didn't count on Hannah's anger over her own hurt giving the journalist the strength she needed to fight back.

"I can't fight either of you on this Temperance I've already lost. You've had his heart since I met him. I'm just a placeholder until you two figure it out. I'm taking a few days to settle into my latest story and find a new place to stay while I work on it. Then I'm back to my nomad ways, chasing the next big story. I'm talking to Seeley tonight to clear the air between us, just make sure you're here for him when he needs you okay? You're a great person Temperance and I think under any other circumstances we could have been friends, but no hard feelings."

"I-I don't know what that means…"

"Take care of Seeley." And with that Hannah was gone, walking out of the Jeffersonian Institute as gracefully as she had entered it a month prior. Not stopping to bother about the waves of chaos she was leaving in her wake.

To her credit Temperance waited until Hannah was out of sight before falling apart. She slid off Angela's couch and onto the floor, clutching her knees to her chest as if physically holding herself together could stop the pain from tearing her apart. She cried for Booth, for all that she had ruined between them. She cried for Hannah and the pain she must be feeling in this moment; because Brennan knew how hard it was want a love that you didn't have the strength to fight for. She cried for all that Booth had opened her heart to, all that she had wanted and waited for over the years only to throw it all away by pushing him when she knew he wasn't ready. She didn't know how long she sat there sobbing before Angela came in, the artist immediately wrapping her arms around her friend doing her own small part to help hold her together.

Some time later Brennan's crying stopped. Angela assumed it was sheer exhaustion, coupled with the confrontation with Hannah that had pushed the anthropologist over the edge and into the restless sleep she was now in. Leaving her in her restless peace on the floor Angela went off to see if she could charm her way into the security office to get the footage from her office. No reason to have that floating around the lab, exposing a personal moment between the two women strong enough to battle each other over Booth's heart.

She hadn't even been gone 15 minutes, so she was more than a little shocked when she came back and found Brennan standing on the platform as if she hadn't just been falling apart in the office.

It would appear she had already confirmed Arastoo's suspicions that there were in fact no remaining bones in the concrete, but that hadn't given her a reason to move from the platform. Brennan was leaning against the table as if it was all that was holding her up, seemingly oblivious to all the activity around her. Angela started to the platform only to be stopped. Hodgins had sent Arastoo and Cam away, approaching the shaking anthropologist as though he was afraid she might bolt.

"Dr. B?"

Hodgins took her lack of response as permission to continue and he stepped up next to her, placing a hand gently over her arm. "Remember when you had faith enough in Booth that even in your darkest moment you knew he was coming?"

"Dr. Hodgins." Brennan's voice would have sounded cold to any other ears but he knew that she was simply losing the battle to try and keep some semblance of composure.

"You held onto that faith so tightly even when we were about to die you made sure we kept fighting."

"I don't understand how this is relevant to the current problem in our case."

"Booth needs you to have that faith in him, now more than ever."

"I have never lost faith in Booth Dr. Hodgins, I am simply doing what must be done to keep myself going. I have to be able to keep going."

"Then just stop going, you've been through a lot and running yourself down won't make this better for anyone."

He wasn't prepared for the fight to drop from her so quickly, it was if her body had simply been waiting for permission to stop. Her shoulders collapsed, her tears began again and he was escorting her off the platform and out to the parking garage, past one very shocked pathologist and a broken hearted forensic artist. A short while later they arrived at her apartment and he lifted her out of her seat, shocked at how fragile her taller frame felt in his arms as he carried her upstairs.

When she was lying in her bed he removed her shoes, and brushed her bangs away from her tear stained face with the same type of tenderness he showed Angie. Looking at the broken shell of the woman before him he was struck by how far she had fallen under the burden of her love. But he had spent enough time with Angela, he had seen Dr. Brennan underground to know that there was time when you had to have faith, because the other option was simply to much to bear.

He arrived back at the lab to try and determine what he could from the particulates. Hoping that for a few blissful hours he could lose himself in the simple joy of his work, and leave behind the despair of his dearest friend. But he wasn't Dr. Brennan and he couldn't compartmentalize away his pain at all he had seen. It was with a heavy heart that he went to Angela's office later to find his wife setting up camp.

"Don't start Jack, please don't. You saw what she was like today, don't tell me your not just as afraid as I am that she won't wake up in that apartment tonight and decide that she needs to come back here."

"So you're setting up camp now to try and head her off? Angie you have to think about the baby, you need to get a full nights rest."

"One night will be fine, I have some magic I want to try and work to get a skeleton for them to work with so I'm going have to pull a late night either way. I just can't think about the possibility of her coming back here alone tonight Jack. I don't know what happened today, I know it had to be more than Hannah to shake her like this. And until I know what's wrong with her I have to do what I can to stop her from raising her defenses and burying herself. Because if it happens again I don't know if we'll get her back this time."

Neither of them had to speak to remember the two weeks of darkness that had taken over Brennan surrounding Booth's death. Nor to remember the pain on her face when he wouldn't wake up and the absolute heartbreak that had pushed her out of the country when he did.

"Go home Jack, I need you to be well rested to deal with her tomorrow if I don't start tonight. She is going to need us Jack until she figures out what is going on, and we're going to have to be there for her because I refuse to leave her alone."

Never one to fight with his wife Jack Hodgins went home that night with a heavy heart, knowing that no amount of hope or faith would be enough to make this situation better by the light of day.

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**For all of you who were freaking out last chapter, look we're getting somewhere...sorta. At least Hannah's leaving! The feedback you all continue to leave me is amazing, and if I can't PM you to tell you for yourself just how much it means know that I really do love it! More to come on Thursday.**

**Sarah**


	15. The bottle and the breakup

**If it looks familiar it's not mine...**

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Seeley Booth had never in his life turned to the bottle to chase his problems away. He knew the power of a few stiff drinks to chase away the demons after a grueling case, the magic of a few shots shared to open the mind of an academic to possibilities unknown. But he had never entered a bar with the intention of getting himself fully and completely drunk. So he was as surprised as their usual bartender when he sat at his barstool at the Founding Fathers, handed over his car keys and asked for a bottle of whiskey.

The bartender almost did a double take; this was the man who rarely ordered more than two drinks when he looked as if he could easily use double that. The man who had been coming in for years in the company of several different beautiful women. Not even a few weeks ago he had come in with his gorgeous work partner and left with an even sexier blonde. Though he supposed the trouble of having so many women in his life could be the reason for the defeated slump in the man's shoulders tonight. He pocketed the keys and placed the bottle on the bar with a shot glass, trying to hide his shock as the man immediately threw back four shots as if they were nothing more than water.

Booth was numb, that was the only possible word for it. The whiskey he was shooting back didn't fill his chest with the usual bloom of warmth, all he had was the cold weight of his loss. He wasn't even sure what loss was weighing on his heart the heaviest, his whole world was dark. It had been all his fault. That night he had all but told Bones he didn't love her only moments after asking her for the world. she had pushed and pushed, and he didn't bother to push back, he simply folding in on himself to protect his own heart. He had brought Hannah, beautiful, bright Hannah into his vortex of sadness and despair, weighing her young heart with his burdens out of nothing more than the selfish desire to be wanted. He poured himself four more shots in quick succession.

He glanced at the empty barstool next to him, the one that his partner should have been occupying, and he couldn't help but think that maybe she had the right idea on love after all. It was nothing but a chemical process that caused delusion, a fleeting moment of happiness followed by a lifetime of pain. Perhaps it really wasn't worth all this agony for the fleeting moments of happiness that it brought. His own pain increased as he thought again of that fateful night. If he thought his own heart had been broken he wasn't sure how Bones, whose heart was already so fragile, would have had the strength to survive

And he had asked her to gamble, to take a chance on them. As if he though she would be okay if they somehow managed not to work out. He may have told her he knew, and he thought he did. But he couldn't help but wonder if she knew better. If she knew that the moment wasn't right for them, if she knew that they wouldn't be able to make it work at that time. Because she had loved him for so long, he had physical proof that she had loved him long before she even knew how to define the word or accept the emotion. She had never said the words, but she had never tried to hide them behind a qualifier or wrap them in an anecdote either. She had simply been, at his side all along, loving him in her own way, and waiting for him to catch up. Ignoring the glass he took a long pull from the bottle still feeling nothing.

He hadn't been sitting there all to long when he picked up his phone to make a call. He had to apologize, he had to explain, he had to talk to Hannah. Unfortunately his motor coordination had been compromised by the whiskey, even if he couldn't feel it and he pressed the familiar speed dial number on his phone out of something that ran deeper than sheer habit.

Angela Montenegro wasn't surprised to hear the phone sitting beside her on her desk go off. She had taken Brennan's phone for a reason after all. After confirming the caller was indeed Booth she paused in answering it, torn between her desire to scream at him and the want to leave him hanging in wait just a little longer. Anger won out and she answered Brennan's phone with a snarl.

"You had better have one hell of a reason for calling Booth."

"Hannah?" he slurred, puzzlement and intoxication evident in his voice.

"You called Bren's phone and you're asking for Hannah? Seeley Booth are you drunk? Where are you?" The increasing pitch and rapid pace of Angela's questions sent his already fuzzy brain spinning into confusion.

"Need to tell...sorry…Hannah"

Now Angela was fuming, whatever had happened in this little love triangle was enough to push Brennan completely off the edge this afternoon. So far that Angela was now camped out in her office for fear of what her friend would try, and he wanted to apologize to Hannah.

"Where are you?" she repeated, her hatred barely contained, not that Booth was sober enough to notice.

"Founding Fathers" he slurred out. And with that Angela hung up on him. She was debating over who she wanted to call to go get him when Cam walked into her office.

Dr. Camille Saroyan tried her hardest to run her lab with a degree of professionalism, not that her coworkers made it particularly easy. But they had been more on edge than ever since their respective returns from all corners of the globe and she was left trying to keep the workplace stable despite the tension running thick between her employees. Of course that didn't stop her from leaving the lab a little early to go pick up Seeley at Angela's suggestion. He was after all her friend, despite how uncertain she was about his life choices of late she was always in his corner.

"Hey big guy," she said gently as she approached Booth, raising her eyebrows at the bartender as he gestured to the bottle, more than half empty next to Booth on the bar that had clearly put him in this state. "I don't want to know do I?"

Booth raised his head off the bar to look at her briefly before, shaking it sharply and turning away, not once making eye contact.

"But I'll bet it has something to do with why Hannah was confronting Dr. Brennan in her office this afternoon."

That caught his attention and he looked to her, mouth open in shock before the pain clouded over his eyes again.

Cam continued gently, "Can I just say I think you've hurt everyone in this situation enough and that includes you Seeley. Believe it or not you deserve to be happy. Not the kind of happy you have to force or work at, just simply being. And whatever else is going on around you right now I want you to remember that."

"I don't think I get to be happy Camille." He attempted a smile at their personal joke but it came across as more of a grimace the way it was forced through the pain on his face. He looked so absolutely shattered, like he had resigned his heart to that cruel fate of being cold and alone, so different from the life he had expected.

"Don't call me Camille, Seeley. I think your happiness is your choice. And I think you know that too. But right now I also think you're drunk and you need to go home. You can hope Hannah isn't home yet, pass out in your bed and deal with this all tomorrow when you have a hangover the size of Texas." When he didn't even attempt a response, she leaned into him with a sigh taking on part of his weight of the world as she braced him on her shoulder.

He seemed so fragile as she led him out into the night, buckling him into her car under protest before she started driving towards his apartment. It was disconnecting for her to see Seeley like this, he wanted the world to believe that he was indestructible, there were very few people he let in close enough to see the cracks.

When she pulled up and saw the light on in his apartment, she almost didn't bring him up. Hannah didn't need to deal with him like this and she wasn't sure Booth would want her to see him in this state. But he had to own up to his life choices at some point and the pathologist reasoned that maybe a little liquid courage was just what he needed. That and she really didn't think Seeley needed another woman interfering in his life.

To say Hannah looked surprised when she opened the door would be a gross understatement. Cam was only slightly less surprised to see the few bags she had so happily helped move in just a few weeks before piled back up by the door. Her heart went out to Seeley in that moment as she transferred his weight to Hannah, because he really didn't deserve the pain that was coming to him. Not to say that she blamed the journalist, Cam knew just as well as she did what it felt like to be second best in your own relationship. She closed the door quietly behind her, hurrying back to her car. Her heart went out to the man she considered one of her best friends; he had such a loving heart it wasn't fair for it to take such abuse.

Hannah was surprised to see Seeley home so early and so drunk at that, she had thought he wasn't usually one to drink. But then who was she to really know? She wondered if he had talked to Temperance and that was what had brought this binge on, but he was staring at her bags by the door with so much hurt and shock that she assumed this was all new to him. The pain in his eyes as he questioned her wordlessly may have stopped a weaker woman, but Hannah was nothing if not strong and resilient.

"Yes Seeley, I'm leaving. I don't think this is working for us back here in the states and I'm pretty sure we both know it."

"Is it something I did or something I'm not doing? Just tell me what it is and I can fix it. I will fix it." His words sounded pained and weak and begging even to his own intoxicated ears and a part of him wondered why he was lowering himself to beg to this woman, who was little more than a placeholder in his heart, when he hadn't been willing to do the same for the woman he had given it to. His heart broke a little bit more when he saw Hannah's eyes shining with unshed tears, tears she should never have had to cry. Tears he didn't deserve.

"You know most people get into a bad breakup and they go out and get roaring drunk with their buddies. Maybe they pick up a girl to have meaningless sex with, and then they regret in it the morning. But you, you left behind your family to fly halfway across the world to fight in someone else's war. And you pick up a girl you want to try and make a life with. Now I know you're a man of action but you must be able to see that what you did goes a little extreme. That can only lead me to believe that what happened between you two was obviously more than your average breakup. Yes, I know you two were never romantically involved. You want to know how I know? Because I'm here. Because if the two of you ever managed to get together and give it a shot, there would be no coming between you."

And that was it, plain and simple. He couldn't give Hannah his heart because it wasn't his to give. He had strung Hannah along in this perverted little fantasy of his, convincing himself that he could move on by sheer force of will. But he had never been a brains guy and there was no denying that he didn't have the strength left to let it overrule his heart. He had sobered up pretty quickly, heartbreak had a way of doing that even when it was what drove him to drink in the first place, and he was choking back tears of his own as she continued.

"Maybe I'm not being fair to you because we've had some good times, and we were really happy but you're not being fair to me. I'm your rebound Seeley. I can see that clearly now that we're back in the states, but it was pretty clear overseas too. It may not be the most honorable thing for you to do but that at least I could understand. What's not fair is you treating me like we have a real relationship, you acting like you want to make us work. I'm the other woman in my own relationship Seeley and it hurts more every day you won't admit that."

"Would it make this any easier if I said I was sorry. That I never meant to drag you into this mess." He managed to choke out, not willing to let her go.

"It might if I believed it Seeley."

For the second time that day Booth had no words, and he was left watching as his girlfriend, his one shining hope at moving on out of the despair he and Bones had landed in, gathered up her few worldly possessions and walked out his font door without looking back. Alone again, through the fault of no one but himself. The women in his life may have decided his fate but he was the one who had pushed them to their limits. Trying his hardest to make himself happy, as if he had any say in the matter. Not knowing what else he could possibly do he climbed into his bed with a heavy heart, exhaustion, defeat, and alcohol settling in and sending him off to a fitful rest.

* * *

**So I know this was a long awaited chapter around here, I hope it lived up to your expectations. I wish I could say the angst eased up now, but where would the fun be in that? More to come Sunday at the latest, probably sooner though because you all are so great!**

**Sarah**


	16. The clear air of a new dawn

**I own nothing you recognize, and that includes all the direct quotes.**

* * *

She has been having this dream, or a version of it, for the last nine months. She thought it would go away with her return home and the ability to see him daily, the ability to remind herself why she had pushed his heart aside in the first place. But watching him give his heart so freely to another had only brought it back with a vengeance. She is removed from herself, watching the two of them that night at the Hoover when he decided to go all in.

"_I'm the gambler. I believe in giving this a chance. Look, I want to give this a shot."__  
_

"_You mean us? No. The FBI won't let us work together.__" _

_She couldn't say that his question surprised her; she had seen his face as they left Sweet's office. That hadn't prepared her to fight this so soon though and she fell back on her usual excuse without thought. Then he was kissing her and there really was no thought in her mind. I was a hard kiss, begging her to give in to let them have this and she wanted so badly to do just that, to open her heart and tell him the words she had been longing to say without qualifier for so long. _

_It shattered her heart to push him away, to remove herself from the warmth and comfort of his kiss but it had to be done. "__You - you thought you were protecting me. But you're the one who needs protecting.__" Her tears choked her voice, one look at his face and she knew it was no use trying to hold them back, but she had to do this for him, for them. Booth was a fighter and he was going to fight her on this, she could see that his mind was already made up, he wouldn't let her push this aside. So she would have to fight harder, because he wasn't ready. If she let him in now he would leave when he realized the relationship was not all he had dreamed of. _

"_Protection from what?__" She could see the heartbreak and the lies in her eyes and feel it in her heart, and yet he standing so close, with such a childish hope in his own eyes, that he couldn't read the emotion in hers. _

_"From me. I don't have your kind of open heart.__"_

_She had to be sure, to know he loved her for her and not from some dream in his head. Their partnership of late had been borderline domestic as she helped him get his gut back but she had to know that there were no lingering feelings driving this, because if that what he wanted he was going to be in for a shock when he got her instead. And her heart couldn't bear the thought of losing him from that disappointment. _

_And that was it, the look in his eyes said he absolutely believed her. That he thought she couldn't change. His eyes shined with tears that were silently steaming down his face and she looked for a sign, for a glimmer of anything that would tell her she had been wrong to do this, that he really could love her just the way she was. But there was nothing familiar in his eyes; in fact even as he said they could still work together he was studying her, as if he had never seen her before. And then he took her heart, as carelessly as she had taken his, and threw it to the ground. _

"_But I gotta move on. You know, I gotta find someone who's- who's going to love me in thirty years, or forty or fifty years. __"_

_He didn't love her. That was the only explanation, and somehow she didn't find the revealing of that truth to be particularly comforting. She told him she knew, and she did. She just didn't want to accept the realization. The scene changed and she watched unchanging from the sidelines as her friends all grew together, expanding their little family with warmth and happiness and love. _

"_It means you're going to die loveless and alone. If you keep living trying to protect yourself, nothing is ever going to touch you.__ "_

_And she was stuck on the outside looking in, still a part of the group but the odd one out as they all had someone and she remained alone. No one dared to try and breach the walls of her heart anymore._

"_the riddle you can't solve is how somebody can love you."_

_She was a bridesmaid at Booth's wedding, the godmother to at least three of Angela's children. She became Aunt Bones and went to birthday's and graduations and school plays with a smile on her face and an ache in her heart because she had wanted all of this, but hadn't found anyone for her. Booth had been it, and she had lost her chance. _

"_The thought of losing so much control over personal happiness is unbearable."_

.

.

Brennan awoke in her bed, cold, alone, and gasping for breath that she didn't need. Heart aching she reached for her phone out of habit before remembering that she couldn't reach out to him. No, the nightmare was not a new one, but it got harder to cope as its affects carried over into each day and she had to deal with its truth in her daily life as well. Not sure how she got here in the first place she was slightly disoriented. She stumbled to the bathroom to splash some water on her face, her memory of this afternoon knocking the hard won air back out of her lungs.

Hannah. In Angela's office. Breaking up with Booth, leaving his heart in Brennan's hands. She had broken down in Angela's office and then again on the platform. Seeing as her cell phone was missing from its place on her nightstand she assumed that one of the Hodgins' was responsible for seeing back to her apartment. She would have to thank them tomorrow.

With the ache in her heart to large to be contained in her apartment she threw on the first clothes her hands came to and headed out into the night. She had not intended to head to the mall, but as she parked her car and stood in the shadow of the Lincoln Memorial she could think of no place better suited for her thoughts.

As she climbed the steps that had held so many moments for her over the years she couldn't help but think back to Sweets' words that night. They had missed so many moments… But it wouldn't do to dwell on her own heartache now. Not when she may have very well ruined Booth's chance of happiness, something that she wasn't sure he would be able to forgive her for, she knew she could never forgive herself for adding more to his pain.

.

.

It was 4:47am when Booth rolled over, his entire body protesting the movement with snaps and cracks that rivaled the pounding in his head. But both of those combined couldn't even come close to matching the pain in his heart. Popping several painkillers out of his medicine cabinet he took a good long look at the face in his mirror wondering when he had become this man.

He was not a cheater. He did not go out of his way to hurt people. He hadn't had a casual hookup since he was in college because he was not that man. But his heart felt as though he had been cheating and his brain couldn't decide which woman he had cheated on. He had told Bones that he needed to move on and he had tried his hardest to do just that. But he never should have brought Hannah into this mess. His heartache should not have become hers, because she had done nothing but care for him, and he had tried with all he had to love her. But he didn't have the love left in his heart to give her what she deserved.

He stepped into the living room of his apartment, intending to cross to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Reaching the room he stopped. Besides that damn rotary phone that had taken up residence on his end table there was no sign that mere hours ago there had been a woman that he was serious enough about to share his life with here. Instead his eyes fell to one of his many picture frames. A photo of Bones and Parker bent over his kitchen table working on a science fair project, neither of them knew the photo had been taken, that moment of pure domesticity between the two of them captured and framed in his life next to the ribbon Parker had won for the experiment. Looking at the photo brought a whole new ache to his chest, Hannah had been here for weeks, she had probably looked at the picture every day. The fact that she had waited as long as she did to call him on his actions was another testament to the strength she had. But no matter her strength he couldn't have expected her to fight this thing between him and Bones. He didn't think there was anyone that could and that thought sent a wave of loneliness through him. And his heart throbbed painfully, as if to remind him that he wasn't even sure he wanted to.

He was a simple man, he loved his son, his pie and striped socks. He wanted to have a real family and he wanted to do a little good in the world. Yet his life as of late had become representative of a twisted television show and he hated having to accept that maybe his dreams of happiness were just not what life had in store for him.

It was far too early to be thinking with the headache he had. He needed air. He threw on his sneakers, stepped out into the brisk morning air and started to run. He hadn't planned on going anywhere particular, but apparently his feet had different ideas. He turned towards the steps of the Lincoln memorial, deciding he could wait and watch the sun rise, as he tired to suppress all the memories he and Bones had shared at this spot.

He made it about five steps up before he saw her, small and lost looking pressed up against a column, staring out seemingly into nothing. She looked up at him with a sadness in her eyes he thought could only be found in his own and offered a timid smile.

"Couldn't sleep?" she asked quietly, not sure if she should expect an answer. She wasn't sure what he was doing here, and though it cost her to admit it her heart instantly felt lighter in his presence.

He answered with a quick shake of his head, still marveling at how the mere sight of her, here of all places, made all his dark thoughts of the early morning a little easier to bear.

"You?" he asked roughly, his voice still thick with exhaustion, exertion and the burn from the alcohol of earlier.

"I had a nightmare. I needed to get out of my apartment to breath." If her honesty shocked him, he didn't show it. He had been the one who taught her about offering up a piece of herself after all.

"Hannah left." He said, feeling like he should offer up his own reason for being here.

"I know," she said quietly, turning to place her hand on his arm, "I'm sorry Booth."

It was the contact that did him in, and he let his head drop into her lap, drawing strength from her own exhausted stores as he let the fact that he had once again screwed up finally sink in. To her credit Brennan stayed quiet, simply running his fingers through his hair the way she had seen him so before with Parker. The physical contact was more than she felt she deserved in this moment, but she reminded herself that this was about Booth and she did her best to show her support by simply being in his presence.

"I went and got drunk after we fought today. You said a lot of things that I didn't think were fair Bones, but I think I needed to hear them. You were the one who all but told me to move on, but I admit that a lot of what I did that night was out of pride. Not that it matters now because Hannah is gone and I'm alone again."

His confession startled her as he started, Booth was not a drinker, not after all that had happened with his father, and the fact that her words had pushed him to do that broke her heart. He seemed to be stringing a lot of thoughts together and the rational part of her knew that was because he was probably suffering from quite a hangover. But her heart clenched as he claimed to be alone again.

"I'm not going anywhere Booth. You will never be alone."

"Bones you ran halfway around the world the last time I opened my heart up to you."

His words stung but she knew that the air needed to be cleared between them. "I know, and I know you need time to heal from everything. Your heart has been through a lot Booth, and a good deal of it is my fault something that I cannot forgive myself for. But no matter how you feel about me I want you to know that I will never leave you alone unless you want me to Booth, I love you too much for that."

The words hung between them, it was unclear which one of them her confession had shocked more. Seconds turned to minutes and neither of them was willing to break the intensity of their gaze, to ruin the spell of the words that had never before been spoken so plainly between them. It was the second time Brennan had risked the words aloud and the second time they had shocked her partner into silence.

"I'm sorry," Brennan broke the spell as her heart hung between them, "I shouldn't have said that-"

"Please don't try and take it back" Booth whispered, for once finding the words he needed. His voice was desperate with some need he wasn't even sure he could define, but he knew somewhere in his heart that if she took them back now he may never get to hear them again.

"I didn't mean to belittle what I said; simply that it was an inappropriate time to say that. You have been through a lot today, most of which is my fault. Though I can't blame Hannah for saying what she did to me, but you did not deserve to have her pain forced back on you."

"Hannah came to talk to you? When?" He pulled out of Brennan's embrace as though he had been stung. He remembered Cam saying something but he hadn't been paying attention.

"After our fight this afternoon, she was in Angela's office when I got back to the lab. She told me she was leaving and I begged her not to go. I offered to leave for a dig or do what I could to give you the space you needed, but she wouldn't listen. I swear I never wanted to ruin your happiness for you Booth." The words left her all in a rush; she wasn't sure how long he would give her to get them out before he walked away from her for good. How could he possibly do anything else when she clearly ruined any chance he had for happiness?

"She said I needed to make sure that I was here for you, that you would come to me. But I can understand if I am the last person you want to be around right now Booth, I just need you to know that no matter your feelings towards me I will not leave you alone."

"I can't jump into a relationship with you. God knows I want to because everything you're saying now is all I have wanted to hear from you, all I should have fought to hear from you that night." He spoke without speaking to her, as if he was simply thinking aloud, which she supposed was perfectly logical given the magnitude of what was passing between them. But the lack of contact from him didn't deter the smallest flutter of hope in the battered corners of her heart.

"But now, look where we are, seven months apart, barely two months back and we're still so unsure of each other. Granted a lot of that has to do with the impact of my relationship on our old form of partnership. But still things have changed between us Bones. We've both changed. I need to know I can trust you again before we can even think of doing this. And I need to know that you trust me. We need to build ourselves a clean slate, personally and professionally Bones. I need to rebuild your trust in me and you need to decide of you're sure about this, about us. Because if we start something and you run, I'm not going to have the strength to chase you."

Speaking all the words he had in his heart left Booth physically and emotionally drained and he slumped back against his partner. But there was a peace in his mind that could only come from her presence. Brennan was fairing no better emotionally, but the hope was swelling in her heart at even the possibility of another chance. And it left her feeling lighter than she had in months. The weight of all that had passed between them was heavy on their backs as they held each other, looking silently over the sunrise. But as a new day dawned beautiful and bright over the partners all either of them could think was how much lighter it was when the burden was shared.

* * *

**Phew, that was a long one but hopefully it got a lot of things out there and cleared the air. As always I take credit for all mistakes in here (even though I try my best to edit them out). And I thank you all for the incredible feedback that you have been leaving. More to come in a few days!**

**Sarah**


	17. The connection on her couch

**I own nothing you recognize.**

* * *

The exhaustion clung to them as the sun rose, but neither of them was willing to break the fragile peace they had found for their hearts by moving into the reality of a new day. Slowly the mall began to fill with people and just like that the spell was broken. Stretching, Booth stood up slowly before reaching his hand out to help Brennan to her feet. Flashing her a genuine charm smile despite the tiredness in his eyes he spoke the first words they had shared in hours.

"C'mon Bones, chop chop. We've got a case to solve." Reveling at the normalcy of it all she placed her hand in his with a small smile of her own.

"It should prove interesting since we have no bones besides the skull we found yesterday."

"You'll find something Bones, you always do."

She couldn't help but smile at his faith in her even as he pulled her along the mall. "Are you planning on going into the Hoover dressed like that?" She questioned gesturing to his rumpled sweats and ancient Flyers t-shirt.

"I was just going to come to the lab with you to start, but I suppose I should still change. Can't let the squints see me like this."

"It has been a while since you've seen some of them." Her tone was teasing but the words reminded them both that they still had plenty to discuss and move past before they could really move themselves forward.

"Well I can drive you back to your place," she offered after a moments pause, "I drove here last night and I am still an excellent driver."

"Bones you spent seven of the last nine months in the jungle, I'm not sure you should be driving."

"My car means I drive Booth. Or you could walk…"

"Just try not to crash okay."

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As the partners entered the Jeffersonian an hour later, fresh coffee and donuts for everyone in hand, Brennan was shocked to see Angela slumped over a computer on the platform. The artist was equally shocked when Brennan shook her awake and she saw Booth hovering several inches over his partners shoulder.

"Studly to what do we owe the honor of your presence this morning?" She snapped irritably at her less than favorite FBI agent of late.

"Angela did you stay here all night? That's not good for the baby." Brennan deflected with just a hint of force in her voice.

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him." She teased; her eyes flashing towards Brennan letting her know that the subject was not dropped. "Well while you're both here might as well see what I have rigged up to get you a body, so then I can go to bed."

The lasers held everyone on the platform mesmerized, and for a brief moment Brennan felt at peace, as if they have gone back to a simpler time when emotions didn't invade every aspect of her life and the cases were solved by Booth and her team doing what they do best. Logically she knew it would be impossible to return to such a state, too much had passed between all of her team members, and her heart was glad for all that had happened. She couldn't help but glance at the man next to her, whom was responsible for so many of the changes within her heart and mind, and she had to smile when she saw the childlike glee on his face as the lasers cut among the plastic.

"That's it? Order me up a six foot guy, 37 years old with a good income and no mommy issues, " piped in Cam from her spot on the edge of the platform.

And just like that the swirl of emotional thoughts that had wrapped Brennan so warmly in their embrace was gone. She sent Booth to her office to take a nap while she looked through the bones. Stopping his protests with a force only she could muster.

"You've had a late night and a terrible week, and there is nothing you can do for us until I investigate the bones. I am not above having Cam find something to sedate you with." She said with that deceptively sweet smile of hers that melted Seeley Booth's heart.

In fact, as worried as he was about her it was touching to see Bones mothering him, and she did have a valid point about the case. Lost in his own thoughts of all that had passed between the two of them as of late he didn't notice the Forensic Artist waiting for him on Brennan's couch until it was too late.

"So want to explain yourself, or should I just go ahead and vent to you the conclusions I've made?" It was no secret that Angela could be menacing despite her slight frame and the malice in her voice was enough to get Booth talking.

"You want to know why Bones and I came in together this morning? How about you tell me why my ex-girlfriend was in your office yesterday hmm?" Seeley Booth was not one to break under pressure and though he didn't want to upset Angela he had plenty of questions of his own and he didn't think anything he had done warranted such a snippy attitude.

"She came to me wondering what to do because she could see, as plain as the rest of us could, that there was no real reason for her to be here. You may have been sleeping with Hannah but you still haven't wrapped your heart around whatever it is you want with Bren. And you know that as well as the rest of us, so I don't know why you had to go on and hurt her as well Booth, no one deserves to feel like that,"

"How about feeling like you're not good enough for the person you love? How about knowing that they're so right for you and you could be so happy together but they don't trust you enough to try. Does anyone deserve to feel that kind of pain Angela?" His voice was raw with emotion again, the alcohol and exhaustion and revelations of the last 24 hours catching up with him.

"No, Booth they don't. and I think if you had told Bren that that was what you thought she meant that night then we could be in a totally different place right now. I don't want to take sides because you both have screwed up and said the wrong thing or took home the wrong message so many times over the years that its not even funny anymore. But I do want you to know you've spent you're entire partnership getting to know and falling in love with Bren, while she has spent that same amount of time trying to push aside those feelings for you. But she was also trying to accept your ideas of love and friendship and family. I know it sucks being rejected and forced to wait in the wings of your own love story. But stop and think for just a second about how hard this has been for her. Not for your average person in a sucky situation, but for Bren."

"I just want to be happy Angela. I want to be wanted and I want to feel loved. I don't want to live my life walking on eggshells because the wrong word could send her off to some far flung corner of the world. I love Bones, or at least I did. But I can't be sure of anything with her which is difficult when she wants to deal with life in absolutes."

"I know you don't think that of her Booth."

"I don't know what to think anymore Angela. She's told me she loves me twice now, and those words would have made me the happiest man in the world months ago but now they just feel like a reminder of all that I lost."

"So that's it? The stakes get to high and you're just going to run away form something that you know could be great?"

" I could never run away from Bones Angela, but I have to stop chasing her. I don't have the strength. With Hannah gone I need a little time to let myself heal and we both need to come to terms with how we want this partnership and whatever else we may have to move forward. I need to be able to trust her again Angela before I could open my heart and I need to know she trusts me, trusts us, enough to give us a real chance at making things work."

"That may have been the most wonderful thing I think you've said to me in a long time," said the artist, tease lingering in her eyes that had nothing to do with pregnancy hormones.

"Glad I could help," he said with a dry chuckle, "now do you mind letting me catch a few winks, it's been a long few days."

"Whatever you need Studly," she said placing her hand gently on his arm and fixing him with a stare whose intensity could rival Brennans. "I'm off to my office to catch a few winks myself."

.

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It had been a long afternoon with little to go on besides the dancer tattoo on the tooth and Brennan had almost forgotten about the partner sleeping in her office by the time she made her way off the platform, though his soft snores quickly alerted her to his presence on her couch. She took a moment to watch him, she had seen so little of him lately and it had never been this unguarded peacefulness that she saw now. It almost seemed a shame to wake him but they really should make their way to the park at least to get a look around today, but she was so tired, and he looked so peaceful, and really her couch was big enough to hold two people...

For once her heart won over her brain, though the exhaustion of the last few days made it an easier victory than usual. She lifted the blanket off him before lying on her side, tucking herself along the length of his body. He shifted beside her before wrapping an arm around her waist pulling her form close. She was too tired to protest and the closeness was comforting. _I hope he's okay with this when he wakes up,_ was her last thought as exhaustion claimed her and she fell into a peaceful slumber, wrapped safe and warm in the embrace of her partner.

When Angela went to remind Brennan to leave at a decent hour, as had become their custom as of late, she had to suppress a squeal. Snuggled together on Brennan's couch the two looked every inch the lovers she knew they both longed to be. Thinking back to Booth's promise of working things out from earlier the ache in her chest was loosened. They may have hurt each other in the worst ways possible, but they were the only ones who were going to be able to build that trust back up and let something grow from it.

She covered them more securely with the blanket, closed the shades, and with one last look shut the door feeling lighter than she had in months. Finally her friends were starting to heal all the hurt between them, and she couldn't help but hope that it would help them both find the happiness they longed for.

* * *

**Happy Thanksgiving! I know it's short, and with how awesome you all are about giving me feedback you deserve more, but I have family coming over soon and this seemed like a good stopping point out of what I had edited. I know there's still a lot of angst in the middle there but the end is almost fluffy in terms of how I usually write... More to come soon. **

**Sarah**


	18. The measure of their moments

**If it looks like something you've seen on TV it's not mine...**

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The first thing Seeley Booth noticed was the familiar weight of a woman in his arms. But as he tightened his grip around her he was startled to find that this was not Hannah he was holding so close, her form was longer and much more finely muscled. He remembered falling asleep on Brennan's couch this afternoon and the familiar perfume assaulting his newly alert senses was all the confirmation he needed as to who was lying in his arms. The question plaguing him now was _why?_

He held her for a few still moments, trying to ignore how right she felt in his arms because that was not what mattered in this moment. He was not ready for this, he needed time to heal his heart, to work on his trust in his partner. They needed to relearn each other so they could decide where they wanted to take this. The panic sweeping his mind was betrayed by the actions of his arms which only pulled Brennan closer against him, as if trying to force her to occupy the same space as him. Even as his grip unconsciously tightened it was not enough to soothe the nightmares swirling across his partners mind.

Brennan was being smothered, buried alive by the pile of regrets from all she had missed out on in her life. She was trying so hard to push past the memories and fears piling up around her, to convince herself that this was noting more than a terrible dream, conjured up from the emotional exhaustion of all that had passed that day. That didn't stop her from flailing around, trying to free herself from the weight of her regret. "I want to go for a different outcome," she all but screamed at her partners retreating form as he dropped her hand and walked away.

The panic Booth had felt upon waking nearly doubled as his partner started to flail about in his arms. The urgency of her movements made it clear that she was trapped in some sort of nightmare, and regardless of his current indecision he could never intentionally leave her in pain.

"Shhh, Bones. It's okay, it's just a dream. I've got you, I'm here." He whispered an endless string of platitudes against her scalp as he gently tried to shake her out of the dream.

Her eyes snapped open suddenly and she gasped for breath as she tried to take in her surroundings. He sat up with her slowly, his arms continuing their gentle stroking of hers without any real thought from his brain. They both froze for a moment as the full extent of the situation hit them. Brennan was afraid that she had pushed Booth too far that, she had overstepped the fragile boundaries they were trying to rebuild between them. Booth was torn once again between the desire to protect her heart from any possible pain and the need to protect his own from disappointment. Her heart won out as he pressed a gentle kiss against her hair and he felt her immediately relax back into his arms. He held her quietly waiting for her to make the next move.

"I'm sorry if I woke you," she said quietly, "I was just so exhausted earlier and my couch is big enough for two so I hoped-"

"Bones, you're rambling, which means you're deflecting. What were you dreaming about?" This was the moment of truth between them, if she opened herself up he was going to be the happiest man in the world no matter what she said, because it meant that she still had some small measure of trust in him and he could work with that. All he needed was the little bit to work his way back in and prove to her that she had been right about them, that he was ready now to make them work.

She paused before answering biting back her usual response that it was no big deal. This was in fact a very big deal, it was her chance to let him in and prove to him that she could be trusted, that she had changed for the better. Turing so that she was facing him as she spoke she whispered, "It's the same dream I've been having for months now. I'm buried alive, but not by the gravedigger. I've buried myself under all the fear and doubt that has led to so many regrets in my life. Sometimes it's specific; I see events from the future where everyone is happy and living their lives and I've been left behind by myself. Tonight it was us and chances that I should have taken to tell you how I felt."

She reached up to grasp his hand in hers, drawing on the strength of his silence to finish her thought. "You were walking away from me as I tried to explain myself that night. I always believed that we would get our chance, like I told Angela years ago there is no singular moment in the universe. But I' afraid we're running out of moments. I'm afraid we're never going to find the moment that works for both of us and we're going to miss our chance Booth."

"Then we'd better make the most of the moments we do have, right Bones?" His tone was light and teasing but she could see in his eyes just how much her words had meant to him, how much he too feared that they would never get their chance, and it eased her mind because it meant they were in this together. Whatever the hell this was between them now it was still theirs.

"Booth would you like to go to dinner with me?"

"Bones I haven't looked at a clock yet but it has to be at least three in the morning."

"Since when has the hour of the day had any affect on needs of your stomach?"

.

.

She sat at the familiar table, warming her hands against a mug of tea as her partner dug into his slice of pie with gusto, even though it was in fact, well past three in the morning. They started with talk about work; she filled him in on all they had discovered this afternoon while he slept on her couch. Soon the words turned personal as they took the time to share some of their fonder memories of their months apart, still keeping the tone light. Some moments they sat in silence, each partner enjoying the presence of the other as they restudied the familiar face across from them.

This was the second morning they had sat together until sunrise, the change in hours taking a toll on their bodies that couldn't surpass the peace filling their hearts. And it was their hearts that kept them at the table until the hour was decent enough for ordering breakfast and much needed coffee. One minor squabble over the check and the nutritional value of pancakes later and they were on the road towards the park, telling themselves that no one they questioned was going to know that they were in yesterdays clothes.

.

.

"Guess, guess."

It had been a long couple of days but here she was sitting in the Hoover with her partner, waiting for the evidence that would lead them to catch another killer, and he wanted her to take a guess as to which woman it was. And she would never admit it to him but it felt good to have him ask and to share in the privacy of another moment even as the FBI techs gathered the last piece of evidence they needed to close their case. Hearts clam and bodies exhausted over the late night routine they had settled into over the last few days, they parted ways with a peaceful sense that things could work out all right between them.

Booth lay in his bed that night offering up a prayer for the first time since he had been back from overseas. He felt compelled to offer thanks to whatever divine intervention had granted him another chance with is partner. A chance that, no matter how unsure of it he was at the moment, he was not about to let go to waste.

Brennan glanced at her shelf out of habit as she readied for bed, the weight it placed on her heat reminding her of all she still had to talk about with Booth. But she was grateful for once for all the moments that had led her to this one, to the last few days shared between them with the comfort of old times and the promise of a future.

Both partners drifted off into a peaceful sleep, which for the first time in months had nothing to do with alcohol or exhaustion. In fact, as they slumbered on neither of them could stop the dreams of tomorrow that held them peacefully through the night.

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**As always thanks to everyone for your wonderful support as this story of mine moves forward. Sorry that it's short again, I have a long chapter in works for Thursday to make up for it :) **

**Sarah**


	19. The thoughts on their feelings

**As always if it looks familiar, I don't own it. **

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Temperance Brenna had never met a challenge that she could not beat through dedication to the task. And her relationship with Booth was the most important challenge she had ever faced in her life, so she was more than willing to dedicate herself completely to the cause, no matter the impact it had on her personal life. She let him take the lead in the intimacy of their interactions but she made sure she sought him out to talk, as he had done for her in the past.

They had started simple, returning to their table at the diner everyday for lunch, case or not, to check in with each other and argue over pie. The dynamic was new for them and a little cautious at times, Booth was careful not to tease her too much, and Brennan followed his lead on how personal the conversation became. But they laughed, they ate, they bickered and they sat, alone in their own world, oblivious to all that passed in the small space around them.

Their dynamic at crime scenes remained the same as ever, the one aspect of their relationship that hadn't undergone any changes since their return. They both recognized the importance of their work and their lives was worth more than anything passing between them in the moment. If anything the caution in their personal interactions seemed comical to those observing them, especially compared to the increased evidence of how symbiotic their relationship could be.

When they tracked their lead onto the cruise Booth had to admit that he was more than a little anxious about bringing his partner along. Then of course they split up to work the room and he finds her not moments later, drink in hand, being chatted up by some dumb schmuck half her age. It was the sort of thing that would normally set his blood boiling but he could see the difference in her. She was not responding to his purely sexual advances, she was not enjoying the conversation at all it appeared. But instead of walking away or flipping the kid on his ass like she would normally do she was instead scanning the room. And when her eyes met his he could swear he almost saw relief pass over her features.

Brennan was not comfortable with the young man's advances, a though that would have normally puzzled her but she was too preoccupied with finding Booth or Sweets and getting away before she lost her patience. She couldn't deny the relief she felt when she saw her partner making his way towards them. Where she would have normally laughed the boy off and teased Booth for his alpha male tendencies she instead chose to take comfort from the presence of his hand possessively on the small of her back. It was a simple gesture, one that she had grown accustomed to over the years, one she hadn't realized how much she had missed until it was back.

The interaction between the two partners was not missed by their young psychologist, even as he fought off admirers of his own, and he couldn't help but smile as he watched them get another moment right. He had seen how difficult the past three months had been on their partnership, and he had worried for them as a friend because he hated the idea that he might have had even the slightest impact on pushing them too far. So it was more than awesome to see them healing, in spite of all that they had put each other through. Now if he could just get them over here to help him out of this mob of crazies.

.

.

She had been leaving most of the personal conversation up to him, letting him guide the topic where he was comfortable, he knew her well enough to recognize that and it warmed his heart that she cared enough to let him lead. So her question, seemingly out of the blue one afternoon at lunch, threw him for a loop.

"Why did you stop coming to the lab when we first came back?" There was no accusation in her tone, just a sad curiosity.

"It hurt too much Bones, to see you every day and long for you more than I did my girlfriend. It didn't seem fair to anyone, so I stepped back."

"You know I never wanted to make things harder for you-"

"I did, and honestly that made things worse." He knew his answer was confusing, so he was okay with the silence that followed as she tried to puzzle meaning out of it.

"So you wanted me to show my jealousy over Hannah? But you would have gotten upset with me over that, with as cold as you were being at the time you probably would have reminded me that it was my fault. I'm not sure I follow the logic in your actions Booth."

"You've told me more than once before that love is illogical."

.

.

Brennan was excited for her friends, though she worried a little bit that they would be able to pull off adequate looks of surprise when Hodgins made the announcement. She turned with a smile as Booth returned to the table and placed her glass of wine in front of her, sliding his hand briefly over hers before taking a seat next to her. Situations like this no longer made her anxious, but she still felt better for having him by her side.

It didn't even matter when their apparent lack of surprise made it obvious to Hodgins that Angela had already spilled the beans. Booth simply stood up from the table and congratulated him man to man, restoring the happiness of the celebration and reminding them all of why they were there, to celebrate the expansion of their rough and tumble little family.

And that was what they were, it was more obvious every single day that whatever motives had driven them apart were not enough to break the bond that had formed between their little gang. Brennan couldn't help but smile as she watched her family (she had a family still) smile and laugh over Angela's antics over the last few days. They quizzed the couple on potential names and plans for the coming future.

Angela Montenegro-Hodgins watched her best friend with amused eyes. It had been months since she had seen Brennan this content and she couldn't help but shift her smiling gaze to the FBI Special Agent she was sure was to blame. Her heart soared as she noticed that no matter who he was talking to he didn't stray too far from his seat near Bren. In fact he stayed close enough to causally brush his hand across her arm and gently wrap around her shoulder on more than one occasion. They may be acting like they were back to square one but she had no doubt in her mind that Booth and Brennan were back in the game, heartbreak be dammed you just can't stop a love like that.

.

.

"Hey partner**,** do those magic fingers of yours still work?" Booth called out Monday morning as he made his way slowly into Brennan's apartment, placing the coffee he had picked up as bribe on the counter as he waited for her to come out.

"How many times do I have to tell you there is no magic involved? It is the simple application of force to-"

"Yeah, yeah can you help a guy out here?" He cut off her exasperated rant, with a charm smile as she approached him fixing her earring into her ear.

"Of course," she replied automatically, "may I ask what you were doing this weekend; you were fine when I saw you on Friday."

"Parker and I played a few mean games of football this weekend."

"Booth, you really need to be more careful."

"I'm not that old Bones!"

"I didn't say that. But you can't deny that your skeletal system has taken more abuse than the average male your age…"

"Just fix my back so I can walk straight will you."

"Okay, okay no need to get testy with me just because you're getting old," she teased with a smile in her eyes as he pouted at her words.

"Bones!"

"What, you said it first Booth."

.

.

Their afternoon lunches at the diner had transferred easily into late night meals of Thai when they were on a case, but the meals shared between them after hours had slowly developed into a regular thing, work or not.

That was how a Tuesday night found the partners spread out on Booth's couch a half eaten pizza on the table between them as they watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Because it really was criminal in Booth's book that Brennan's childhood had not included such a classic movie.

The Oompa Loopa's that had started the discussion on the movie weeks ago had long since made their first appearance on the screen, and to Booth's delight Brennan actually seemed to be engaged in the movie. It takes all the training he has to raise his arm and drape it over her shoulders without her noticing the action, and he questioned himself the whole time if this is really what he wanted to be doing.

Then she snuggled into his embrace as if were the most natural thing in the world and any shred of doubt was banished from his mind. The moment however did nothing to ease his heart and he questioned once again what he was doing.

He knew he was in love with his partner, he couldn't deny the happiness that swelled his heart the few times she had said the same to him, even if the words had come in moments of hurt and anger. But that knowing did nothing to push him any closer to opening himself up and saying the words himself. Honesty is a hard thing to force out when you have been lying about your feelings for as long as he has. And it's killing him to not be fully honest with her and let her all the way into his heart, but he can't help but remember the ache from that night, almost a year ago now, and thats all it takes for the fear of rejection to rear its ugly head and silence him once again.

.

.

"Dad, are you and Bones going to start dating again now that Hannah is gone?"

"Parker, Bones and I were never dating, we're just friends."

"You didn't kiss like Mom and Captain Fantastic do, but she gave us a key to her pool, and we used to hang out all the time. I think it's the same thing, just without the kissing part, which is fine because kissing is gross anyways."

"Bones and I are just friends Bub."

"But she makes you happy; I thought that was why you were with Hannah because she made you happy. Now that she's gone can't you just be happy with Bones again."

"Bones and I have been pretty mean to each other Parker, I don't know if we could be happy like that."

"All you have to do is apologize Dad; it's not that hard I promise. If you can both forgive each other then you can be happy and we can go swimming at her apartment again, it will be awesome!"

Booth looked over to the passenger's side where his son was sitting with a sigh, _out of the mouths of babes_ he thought, a small smile making its way across his face.

.

.

Caroline Julian was not a patient woman. She spoke the truth, exactly as she saw it and she refused to step around anyone's feelings. She was also not above tweaking the motivations of others to meet her own puckish desires. This is how she found herself in quite a pickle, watching quietly as Seeley Booth and his partner began their endless dance all over again.

If she had thought watching them run away from each other all those months ago was a heartbreaking sight to see she wasn't sure what to call the scene in front of her since their return. She had seen nothing but professionalism out their interactions upon their return and she wondered how they managed to keep it up behind the obvious pain they were both hiding. She had almost considered locking them in a room with a spring of mistletoe, but she thought that might offend Booth's catholic sensibilities a bit too much, and the plant was several months out of season by the time they returned stateside.

She had all but told the boy what she thought of him coming back from overseas with a new version of the good doctor. Granted the blonde was attractive and seemed likeable enough in the pictures he waved around, but she seemed far to put together to keep the agent on his toes like he needed.

So she wasn't sad when a few months after following Booth overseas the war correspondent went back to her wandering ways. No what ate at her heart was how the two partners seemed to act as if the event had not happened. She had gone to pick up forensic files on more than one occasion and found them bickering in the anthropologist's office. She had gone to the diner down the street to pick up lunch and seen the two of them, thick as thieves in the same booth in the back.

All she needed was a reason, any reason really, to lock the two of them in a room together until they worked all of their issues out and she was sure everyone would be a lot happier going about their jobs. It was almost a public service really, getting the two of them to drop the act. Left to her own musings she failed to notice how his hand lingered a little too long on her back as he led her out of the diner, she missed the smile they shared that said to all the world they had something between them that couldn't be touched.

.

.

They had gotten caught in the rain one afternoon at a crime scene, deciding to call it a night on account of the downpour outside they had driven to her apartment because it was the closer, safer option considering the conditions.

He followed her into her bedroom, arguing over ordering in pizza instead Thai for dinner, as she fetched him a dry shirt. She smiled to herself as she heard his voice enter her bedroom, even though she had told him to stay put in the hallway. As she stepped out of the attached bathroom baring a towel for each of them, she froze.

He was staring intently at the small shelf next to her dresser. She had allowed herself to get rid of the words of regret on her shelf as their relationship had slowly rebuilt. In fact as of late there was only one paper left, propped up against a photo of them that Angela had given her years ago. The white of the cardstock was brought out brightly next to the swirling colors of the photograph. The brightness only served to heighten the contrast of the large black letters filling the paper with her tidy, looping hand. _You love him, don't ever forget that._

_

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_

**Can I just say how much fun this chapter was to write, even if it's the second to last one in this story? That's right, come this weekend this story will be all wrapped up (I'll explain more once it's done). I can't thank you all enough for the wonderful support that you have shown me as this little idea of mine snowballed into something so much bigger. Happy Bones day! I'll see you all with the final installment sometime over the weekend. **

**Sarah**


	20. The future in the kiss

**If it belongs on TV it does not belong to me...**

**

* * *

**

Booth had not confronted her that night in her bedroom; he had turned to her with a smile on his face and accepted the towel and the dry shirt without a word, heading instead into her kitchen to open a bottle of wine as they waited for the Thai food to arrive.

Every cell in her body screamed at her to confront him about it herself, to ask him why he was withholding the words he had never given her, but she held her tongue and followed his lead again. She was a patient woman and she had waited years for Seeley Booth to catch his heart up with his mind. She could wait a few more weeks for him to heal.

Booth felt every bit the ass he had been acting as of late, but he simply didn't know how to respond. He knew he was supposed to be the lead, that Bones was supposed to follow his example when it came to matters of the heart, and he wasn't sure when the student had become the teacher. That he had ever let her think she didn't have his kind of open heart was the gravest of tragedies, but sadly it was only a minor offence compared to what else he had put her through.

He felt her watching him, looking for something in him, though he wasn't sure what yet. Her mind seemed to be made up though and she settled onto the couch to wait for him as had become their routine. He knew he wasn't being fair, leaving her in limbo like this in regards to just what they were to each other, but still his heart begged for a little more time before opening up again. He wasn't sure when he had decided self preservation was the best option but he couldn't deny that he was acting selfish.

.

.

"Dr. Saroyan? I know this is a short notice but I just realized, I'm going to have to take off the rest of the week." Camille Saroyan was used to a lot of things from her forensic anthropologist; a request for time off was never one of them. Ever.

"Do you have a book tour or some conference this weekend that I'm unaware of?"

"No, this is purely personal time. You could even call me back in if becomes absolutely necessary."

"Good, so you're not fleeing the country." The pathologist couldn't stop the teasing tone that crept into her voice. "By all means Dr. Brennan you have more than enough personal time accumulated, enjoy your weekend."

"Thank you Cam." There was a smile on Brennan's face though even Cam could see the look of trepidation in her eyes. Whatever was going on this week must be pretty big to have Brennan so worked up; Cam couldn't recall seeing her look so anxious about anything since she had decided to go to Maluku. A little under a year ago.

The realization came quickly but Dr. Brennan was quicker, already well out of sight. A small smile came over the pathologist's face as she finished her paperwork for the night, a glimmer of hope in her heart that things might just go right this time.

.

.

Temperance Brennan was not what most people would consider a romantic, though her years around Angela had opened her mind up to some of the gestures other men had attempted they always felt forced or false with her. But the sight of her partner coming into her office with coffee, or standing outside her door with takeout could send the butterflies Angela had described into a frenzy in her stomach. Even though there was no rational reason for Booth's presence to have any sort of affect on her digestive system.

Despite her disinclination for the typical romantic overtures she couldn't help but be pleased with herself. She had marked it down to the day and though she knew it was foolish there was some unconscious part of her that hoped he remembered too. That's not to say she expected him to be ready, they had both been through a lot in their months apart and even more in the few since they had been back. She had promised to meet him at the coffee cart one year from today and whether or not he showed Brennan knew Booth's romantic heart would appreciate the gesture.

So with an anxious heart she got her first paper cup of coffee, settled on the nearest bench and began the longest wait of her life.

.

.

If the seven months he had spent overseas had been hell Booth wasn't sure he knew how to classify the five he had since returning stateside. He had been in a constant state of emotional turmoil, and though she was part of the storm around him she had placed herself firmly at the center in turn centering him. She had simply been there, quietly supporting him, waiting for him the way ne now knew she'd been doing silently for many years. Loving him silently from a distance even before she knew she was capable of having an open heart.

They had slowly started rebuilding their partnership after the falling out that had come with Hannah. They hadn't fallen back into the same pattern per say but forming a new relationship that was at the same time more open and cautious than the one they had shared before.

In light of their return to a state of normalcy Booth was more than a little shocked when he stopped by her office on a Thursday afternoon and found the room dark. He went to search her out in Angela's office only to be told by the very cranky, very pregnant artist that Brennan hadn't stopped by all day.

"It's not like I have a tracking chip in her Booth, though after the _years _I've known her it might be a good idea." Angela had snapped, enjoying her secret knowledge of Brennan's whereabouts far too much to spoil the fun, though she was genuinely cranky that he was here at the Jeffersonian.

The tone in Angela's voice made the FBI agent more than happy he had missed out on some of the little things in Rebecca's pregnancy, and gave him a new sense of respect for the bug man, though is did nothing to ease his mind as to where Brennan had disappeared to.

When he didn't find her in limbo he went to Cam in a mild state of panic. Smiling with the secret she knew he had yet to figure out the pathologist decided to throw him a bone. "She took a few days off for personal business Seeley, she promised me she was staying stateside. Who knows it's been quite a _year_; I suppose even Dr. Brennan needs a break sometimes."

She smiled slightly as she saw the words hit home with Booth. Barely remembering to thank her he was off like a shot and Cam couldn't help but root for them a little in her heart, _'that's' right Seeley, go get her.'_

_._

_._

Brennan wasn't sure if it was the coffee or the nerves, but as the day wore on she found it harder and harder to sit still. She wanted to get off this bench, go find Booth, to do simply something. But she had made him a promise and she fully intended to keep it. Even though she knew in her logical mind that Booth had probably long forgotten their promise to meet for today, or had considered the promise filled when they had met briefly five months earlier there was something in her heart holding her to that bench.

It had been thirteen months since he had opened his heart slightly, only to have Bones push him away for not opening it enough. Twelve months to the day since they had agreed to meet on the mall, to share a cup of coffee and see where their partnership was at. It had been seven months of hell in the desert, hurt and lost and longing for so much more than his heart had waned to admit. It had been five months since he had come home to find the life he had left behind in shambles. Three months since Hannah had left him, robbing him of what he had felt was his last chance at happiness. The last year washed over him as he sped towards the mall, hoping in his heart of hearts that he wasn't too late.

He pushed aside the thoughts of last year's pain and followed the heart he had ignored for so long. Without a thought in his head he ran. He ran to the mall for the meeting he had almost forgotten. The meeting that had been seven years in the making and one year in anticipation. All adding up to one moment that he was not going to miss.

"You remembered." He didn't have the words to express how much that simple fact meant to his battered heart.

"I've been here all morning, I thought you had forgotten."

"Never" he said with an intensity that all but made up for the fact that he almost had.

"I know technically we had this meeting months ago but…"

"You want another chance."

"I know I may not deserve one, but I would like the chance now to say what I wanted to all those months ago," even in her mind she wasn't sure what event she was referring too, there were too many missed chance to count, she wasn't going to let this become another one.

"Bones."

"Booth, please? I love you. I have right from the beginning, though I've spent most of our partnership trying to deny it, convincing myself that I couldn't be what you needed to be happy. I can't promise you fifty years down the line because that is not who I am. But I can promise you to stay, and I can promise to love you as I have, a little more each day and if those days add up to the years you want I will consider myself the luckiest woman ever. I've never had love that hasn't brought me pain, and my love for you is no different, but I can promise I will do all that I can never to hurt you. I don't want to take a chance or give this a shot, I want to love you Seeley Booth, pure and simple. For as long as you will let me."

"I, I can't-"

"Booth.'

"I can't believe we've wasted so many years."

"Nothing we have ever done has been a waste. We've spent years proving our trust and intentions towards each other, getting to know the others heart. It hasn't all been a waste, please don't say that-"

He silenced her with a kiss. A kiss that was sloppy and messy, with tears and laughter. A kiss full of promise and longing and love. It was a kiss declaring their future, wherever it led, together as partners, as lovers, as one.

* * *

So that's the end for now, thank you to everyone who has stuck through this with me offering feedback and support along the way. Like any story this one has its flaws but overall I have to say I'm happy with the result. I'd like to offer special thanks to: Hikari-Kayko, Cremant, BelleBones, SouthunLady, stooger, nertooold54, cheysma2000, PercyzBookworm, RositaLG, shopgirl909, bones35 and RowdyRomantic. You all reviewed on almost every chapter, and your insight and support made writing this piece a fantastic experience.

There will be a sequel, expect it to start at some point over the winter hiatus. I want to explore the changes in Booth and Brennan's relationship as they have to cope with the threat of the new sniper that's supposed to be coming up. :)

Sarah


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